Broken Hearted

Til the end of time.

I was dreaming about you last night.
In the dream, you were waking me up with a kiss and breakfast in bed.
You were smiling that grin I love. The one where your eyes crinkle at the corner and my stomach jumps with butterflies.
You pushed my hair behind my ear and whispered, "Good morning, love." tickling my ear with your beard.
Then the door slammed open and in rushed two little girls. Jumping onto the bed, just a bundle of excitement and joy. Shouting, "Mommy! Mommy! Daddy!" over and over. One with my golden hair and the other with your auburn coloring.
I was so happy, the love I could feel from this dream, making me feel like I could burst. And then slowly it fades as I wake up. Reality sets it and that supernova of warmth becomes cold. My heart twisted in pain like someone reached in and fisted it. Squeezing it with all their might. The tears stream down my face, hot and uncontrollable.
Because the truth is, is that I will never experience this dream with you. If only I had known, that the hug I gave you was to be my last. I would of squeezed you tighter. Begged you to stay with me here. Or maybe I should of moved out of state with you too. Should of made more time to call, instead of getting too busy with life.
Whatever I think I should of done, could of done, can't erase the fact that you are gone.
I don't know what led up to the point, where you felt like you had no choice, but to kill yourself.
I never knew that you were so close to demolition. I wish so bad that I had known. I wish you had known that you could of come to me about anything.
Never knew I could feel like this. This bone crushing sadness and hopelessness. To know that I will never see your smiling face again.
Your beautiful soul touched hundreds and your memory will never fade.
Rest in peace, P. I'll love you until my dying day and we meet again in worlds far, far away.