Temporary.

I shoul've let you know that you was my only one

It was the end of July and i always imagined we'd have the kind of love that doesn't wash away after one bad situation that we swear that it's nothing let's just stop talking about it. I should have known that one fight would aggravate each other and end up being a intoxicated love. Was our love this fragile? Every fight we had I swore you'd wanna wash me out of your life and I hoped I wouldn't become a bad habit like your drugs... I wanted to be a good habit not one that ever made you sick. You and I we've always been the kind of person to avoid our problems and disagree on about everything. You consumed my every thought, you controlled everything things of mine and I thought once I got away from you I could've be me. I'm lost. I couldn't be myself without you. It as the farther you pushed me away I held on to you even tighter. I wanted the kind of love that no one could talk out of, not our family or our friends. I guess it's funny how the thought in your brain show up in your skin and leave bruises in places you thought you'd never be able to hurt yourself, but I guess it felt better to shutdown my brain to have to remember you and how we end up here. I left you to many times thinking I was done but just like a bad drug I needed you at every single time I told myself I can't take it anymore just please comeback. You left a void that I can't fulfill. I was addicted to you, I couldn't get enough of you, you was my everything. I still remember your number perfectly, I still remember calling you so many times that I memorized your voicemail, I still remember leaving you an amount of messages and getting left in read. I still remember the night you called and told me it was over,but I called your right back, I couldn't breathe and you said that you'd be right over a few hours. It was 11pm on an July night I'm sitting over here on the bench of the park waiting for you. The night was cold. The weather was the last thing I should complaining about. I barely felt the cold, the tears form my eyes were warming me up. Once you showed I smiled- a fake smile. I hugged you I still remembering your scent, you smelled like coconut. You looked at me in the eyes and said everything gonna be ok. I believed you. Now it's all pain in my chest. I should've let you know that you was my only one..