Dabbling in Darkness

Cowardice

Thud

My head snaps up from the floor and towards the door as my whole body jumps at the noise. A resounding, startled gasp races through the room. We were discovered.

The young cry out first, and my heart breaks for them. Their innocence would deem mercy if our dispute were with anyone else. 

But the Lupine Saevus pack was anything but civil, especially with their dealings in war. 

Bang

Panic grips the room like a vice as the heavy wooden door shudders against the blow. The fear in the room is escalating and the air is suddenly thicker, harder to breathe. I can feel my wolf anxiously pacing somewhere deep within me. 

A flash of spite suddenly runs through my mind, causing my inner cynic to emerge. It was futile to think they wouldn't find us, and even more pitiful to think the door would hold. What was a wooden barricade to beasts who could bend steel? Nothing but an obstacle.

More wails fill the room. While the youth were quaking in the face of the unknown, the adults knew exactly what was going to transpire. Their cries were ones without desperation, in acceptance that our fate was sealed. 

A fate we had written ourselves in fear, and signed with our cowardice.

As the room fills with despair, I fortify my feelings. I won't cry, not now. 

There were more than enough tears being spilled for my pack. I could hold onto my pride and accept my fate with a brave face. 

I catch the eyes of the women and children around me, whom after today are all that's left of our pack. Their tears are silent now, heartbreakingly silent. A woman I recognize is holding the hand of her son. My eyes travel down to his other arm, where a light blue cast I put on him the other day sits like a reminder of what our day to day life was like before. Simple. 

I remember his mother being so, so worried about him when he fell out of that tree. She ran straight to my little office with him in her arms. He was a strong little guy, and his name, Sammy suddenly came to me. He never shed a tear. He only smiled as he told me his favorite color was blue, "like the sky", a detail he wanted to be sure I knew. His delight when I put on the baby blue cast brought a soft smile to my lips then.

There was no smiles now. And Sammy was crying. 

Crack

The door was splintering under the force. It wouldn't be long now.

Like a wave, we all glance at our steel faced Alpha for any hope. He was as resigned as myself, and the contempt I had for him grew. It was all his fault. I hated him more now than I had ever before.

I thought of all the warriors we once had. My mind dwells on the ones who came to me, many of them battered beyond repair. I think of the ones I saved. The ones I didn't. The ones who I never had the chance to try and help, because they died before I could reach them. The ones I could only heal so many times before their wounds were too great. My father's pained eyes flash through my subconscious and I close my eyes tight to steel myself. 

I hated him, my Alpha, for wasting their lives over pitiful endeavours. Overstepping our abilities, sending wolves out of the territory, wolves who would never return. 

What did our Alpha have to show for his tactics? Nothing. His risky attempt at saving our pack had failed miserably. He had nothing, so we had nothing.

And yet our pack still looked upon him with respect. They thought he did his best. Only I and a few others knew that his plans were nothing more than gambles and of his indifference to the true costs of placing those wagers. 

Crash

The door finally gave way. It only lasted four blows. To think we'd be safe here? Stupid.

A massive warrior in wolf form rolls through the doorway after dealing the final blow, shifting immediately to recover. He was shorter than I expected after seeing his wolf, but still obviously strong.

We all hold our breath as the silence runs far too long. Everyone assumed they would release the violence we heard of in stories on us immediately. We had been prepared for gore and death.

We were met only by silence, and somehow, it was even more terrifying.

The warrior walks further into the room. Assessing, sniffing, figuring out what he was up against.

He wasn't alone. More men trail behind him, a steady stream of menacing glares and muscle that I knew wasn't just for show.

The underground storage room we were hiding in that previously smelled like moisture and dirt is enveloped in the stink of blood and sweat.

The short man stops pacing the room and changes course with a purpose. Now eye locked with our Alpha, the disrespect is rolling off of him in droves and is making my wolf uneasy. You never look an Alpha in the eye when you approach him unless you share the same status. This wolf was obviously strong, but the instinct passed to me by my wolf knew he was no Alpha. 

"Our suspicions were correct. You definitely lost some numbers. What we were met with on the battlefield was pitiful. You couldn't even defend your pack with your warriors, Balch?" the short man spit out his words with more disrespect, omitting addressing him by his title. More disrespect. 

His discontempt was not unfounded. I agreed. Our alpha left his remaining warriors to die while he was holed up with the women and children. An act of cowardice, passed off as honor under the guise he would be the last defense. 

I felt pity for my pack members as they slowly realized what I knew all along. Our Alpha wasn't going to defend us now, or ever. While his face gave off nothing but contempt, Alpha Balch didn't say a word in justification against the short man's previous statement. 

"No final words? Fine. Alpha Kerrigan is waiting." The short man turned away from our Alpha and looked upon the rest of us with distaste. 

"You will fall in line behind your Alpha. Don't tempt us with defiance. Your warriors hardly put up a fight and some of us have been left craving more. This will be your only warning."

A dark grin spread across his face, and I wondered if it was in triumph or if he was thinking of the terrible things he would like to unleash on the weakest of our pack. My thinking leans to the latter when I see his smirk is matched by the rest of his warrior entourage. 

A shudder rolls down my back as my eyes catch the pitch black eyes of a warrior who is standing closest to me. His tongue darts out of his mouth to lick his lips and his look darkens, causing my knees give out in fear. I'd heard what these men were capable of, and I'd seen with my own eyes what their handiwork when unleashed. I would be dead in seconds if one of these warriors turned their attention on me.

I broke eye contact, quickly shuffling forward as my pack forms a line and makes our way out of the ground.

The night is illuminated by a full moon and a light breeze tousles my hair. My heart beats faster.

I didn't account for a breeze. Cursing to myself, I send a prayer up to the moon, hoping my tonic was strong enough to still conceal my scent despite my miscalculation.

It had to be, or everything would be ruined.

We marched away from our pack house and into the forest. Away from our life and what we all assumed would be our death.

Alpha Kerrigan of Lupine Saevus rarely left survivors.

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Partially Unedited