Stucky: Beauty and the Beast

Tony

"Gosh it disturbs me to see you Tony, looking so down in the dumps! Every guy here'd love to be you, Tony!
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why," Bruce sings

"No one's slick as Tony
No one's quick as Tony
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Tony
For there's no man in town half as manly,
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on
Who plays darts like Tony
Who breaks hearts like Tony
Who’s much more than the sum of his parts like Tony?"

"As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!"

"My, what a guy, that Tony!"
"I needed encouragement
Thank you, Bruce"
"Well, there's no one as easy to bolster as you!
Too much?"
"...Yep"
"No one fights like Tony
Douses lights like Tony
In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Tony"
"When I hunt, I sneak up with my quiver
And beasts of the field say a prayer
First, I carefully aim for the liver
Then I shoot from behind"
"Is that fair?"
"I don't care"
"No one hits like Tony
Matches wits like Tony"
"In a spitting match, nobody spits like Tony"
"I'm especially good at expectorating!"

[spits]

"Ten points for Tony!"
"When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!"
   
"Who has brains like Tony?
Entertains like Tony?"

"Who can make up these endless refrains like Tony?
I use antlers in all of my decorating"

"Say it again
Who's a man among men?
Who's the super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town
Who's got all of it down..."

"And his name's T-O-N
I believe there's another N...
It just occurred to me that I'm illiterate
And I've never actually had to spell it out loud before..."
"Tony!"