Love and Decisions [pjm - ksg]

Part 2

She cried, again. It was one of those nights she spent alone in that big house of her and her estranged husband. It happened yet again that she has lost count. However, that night she felt thousand times more broken and miserable. In the six month she has been a Mrs Park that night was the worst she has ever felt.

She didn't even leave the house to go to work, not even her bedroom ever since she woke up that day. She was beyond depressed at that point. All she could ever think of was the incident that took place the night before. Her tears kept on falling and she wasn't planning to make it stop.

It all started when Jimin returned home totally out of his clear head. Seulgi knew immediately he was drunk. Was their marriage that bad to him that it affected him so much?

"Theree.. you.. are.." Jimin uttered in between his hiccough.

Seulgi really didn't want to entertain him especially when he wasn't sober. She didn't want to fight. At least just for one night. "You are drunk, Jimin." She approached him with the intention to help. When she was about to take his suitcase he grabbed her wrist.

"Kang Seulgi....." He started and his grasp tightened. "What are we doing?" He became serious and locked his eyes onto hers. It's one of the rare time Seulgi looked at him and he wasn't angry. It was difficult to decipher his expression. "What are we?"

She struggled to answer as she opened and closed her mouth one too many times. "Let's just-" Just when she wanted to say something he interrupted her. No. To be specific, his lips did. There in the middle of their living room Park Jimin just kissed her. For a moment she was caught off guard.

When she regained herself he already began to deepen his kiss. Seulgi tried to stop him but he was too strong for her. Somehow she gave up and somehow she responded. She felt her tears slowly trickled down her face. Were those sad tears or tears of someone helplessly in love?

Eventually the two of them ended up on the bed. Seulgi knew they were crossing dangerous territory and she should prevent it from getting any further but if her heart indicated otherwise what could she possibly do? Maybe, just maybe what mattered was her own feeling? Just for one night, she thought, let her be selfish and not care about how it would hurt her. She loves him a lot that she allowed him to make his mark on her. She allowed him to take the most precious thing from her.

So when she found herself alone the following morning she cried because it was so special and yet so heartbreaking. She wanted her first time to be with the one she loves and she got it. She wanted it to be with someone she tied the sacred knot with and it did. That was why it was so special. However, waking up to an empty bed was heartbreaking because she couldn't help thinking it was so one-sided. She waited for him one whole day but he never came. She knew then that it was just a one night thing. What could be more heartbreaking than a one night stand with the one you love and that person is your husband?

---

Her parents and parent-in-laws decided to leave her alone with the man they said was her husband. For the longest time neither of them knew what to say. She looked at him who was now sitting on a chair by her bed. His eyes indicated that he was deprived of sleep and judging by his overall appearance and his hair he wasn't taking a good care of himself. Was it because of her situation?

Surprisingly, that softened her heart. The assumption that he was a mess because of her was comforting. A husband that cared. Why was the feeling so foreign yet pleasing?

"Have you eaten?" Was her first question.

He didn't answer straight away but gave her the startled look instead. "O-oh. Yes, don't worry. Why? Are you hungry? Do you need anything?" Watching him acting that way made her smile. She noticed that he was awkward and clueless. Like they were strangers. However, she also noticed how he was trying so hard.

"No." She replied and he became quiet once again. "But there is something else that I want." He waited for her to continue with an uneasy expression.

"Tell me about us." His eyes widened as if his biggest fear finally struck him.

"Us..." She nodded her eyes brightened. "We.. have been married for eight months now. It was an arranged marriage." She opened her mouth but no words came out. "Our parents are good friends and we actually were friends since we were kids."

"Really? You accepted the arrangement because we were friends?" She blurted the question out of curiosity.

Again, he was shocked it made him speechless.

"I am sure you must have your own reason marrying me." She smiled at him. But it couldn't be love, right?

"I- " He stuttered bringing his hand towards his mouth to wipe it. She chortled at his behaviour.

"I think I want to rest for a bit." She said putting a stop to their talk. So she lied down and turn her body to the other side her back facing him.

"Okay." He muttered quietly.

Without realising it as she closed her eyes a lone tear escaped.