Fame or Family? (Ellie Goulding Fan-Fic)

1989
I am 5 years old when my father leaves my family. My mum, two sisters, my brother, and I were all that was left. I am second oldest in my family out of us four, but my brother Alex is oldest, Isobel is third oldest, and Jordan is youngest.

We live in the city of Herefordshire which is located on the countryside of England. Our house is not large, but "big" enough to fit all of us. It only has two bedrooms, one bathroom, a living room, and a kitchen. The living room only has a couple chairs, a TV, and a radio. I share a bedroom with my siblings where there is two bunk beds on either side of the room. My mum has her own separate room.

We were all born in England, so we all of course are born with a British accent and speak English fluently. Though many upper-class civilians think not and judge us on how we speak and talk. I try to ignore it as they don't say anything, but I see it in their face that they look at us as poor and unkindly.

I try to talk like those news anchors on the television in my room sometimes, but it doesn't seem to help. I stay quiet most of the time when we go out in public which we will do, rarely.

2000
Though we still don't have much money, my mum still loves us enough to buy us each one gift for Christmas and our birthdays. For Christmas, she bought me a necklace that was gold that reads, "Ellie" in cursive. Ellie is short for Elena, my real name. I am certainly sure it wasn't real gold but I loved it and still wear it till this day.

My birthday is 5 days after Christmas. My mother buys a small cake that we finish that night.

My gift is fairly large. I can't tell what it is. My siblings and mum all watch as I unwrap my gift. I feel something wooden, still not sure what it could be. Then I see tough brass strings tightly attached to a round wooden board. There's a big hollow hole in the middle of the wooden board. There's another wooden piece that is strongly attached to the top of the board. It's long and narrow and at the top of it are these 6 metal nobs--3 on each side. After I finish tearing all the wrapping paper off, I finally discover what it is and start to get really excited!

I love my mum so much because she knows exactly how to make me smile. I strummed my new guitar a few times not sure what notes I was playing. I've wanted a guitar for a few years now after listening to much of the band Pearl Jam. My siblings stare in awe and ask if they can try it out. I let all of them play a few lazy strums and then I take it back stubbornly before Alex asks again.

* * *

That next summer, I spend most of my time in my room practicing my guitar when my siblings aren't in there. They were usually downstairs watching television or listening to the radio.

Throughout the summer I learn many songs on my guitar and even sing with some of them. I knew I couldn't get real lessons because it would be too much money for my mum to afford.

2002
I play one of my first gigs at the University of Kent-- a small college near downtown London. I've played at small clubs and feel a bit more uncomfortable, because it's only me and my guitar on stage. There aren't many people in the audience but enough to be considered a crowd.

Nervously, I adjust the microphone and move it a little closer towards me. I flip my long, thick, brunette hair. My hands are sweating and shaking and I worry that I might drop my guitar pick. Or might even mess up the words. But I know I can do this because I've practiced more than enough. I strum my first note and at first, I think it is wrong and begin to have symptoms of a panic attack coming on, but I control myself and I continue to sing the first verse until the very end of the song.

Frequently, I am subject to panic attacks. First I get short of breathe, second I feel very nauseous, and third I feel very dizzy. And then I feel that I'm about ready to faint.