Remember for everyone you've lost. You have gained something else. Because without the dark you would never see the stars; and without death life has no meaning at all.
There's nothing worse than having your flaws being shamelessly pointed out by others. Every bully starts with a joke and a laugh, every suicide with a flaw. But we are not flawed just perfect in our imperfection to some people. But every life; path if you will has a green light to continue, you don't tell them the joke wasn't funny they'll say it again or come up with another to replace it. Where was your green light and when will it change into a red light.
My green light was the type of light you see lonely in the dark, no other light to accompany it, no friendly green lights in its midst. It stood lonely so no red light was needed to stop the jokes being thrown my way. But each day in my dreams I counted a new green light making a path coated with lies; can't you take a joke, or I'm just kidding, or don't take it so seriously. However when does it become serious that first green light should have turned red. I should have erased the green with a brand new eraser a new attitude if you will and colored it red; painted it red with the paint we covered our fingers in as a child. Changed the light stopped the joke because, soon that's what I was, I was a joke, just a clown walking around with a mask made for a mime, with the smile forced on still lifeless forever. If I look back and erase a part of my timeline written with the finger paint of a child, still wet un-drying of my dreams waiting to be changed again and again it would be the green light. The green symbolizing good, friendliness, happiness. Needing, wanting, calling out to be fixed by an artist unwilling beckoned by the friendly color in aware of its true intentions to ruin my life. There's always a brand new eraser waiting to erase the ugly sour green apple into the rotting red apple that life actually is sweet, sour slowing rotting away into the dark comforting oblivion that will always be there to give our life meaning. For it is not the things we do in life that give it purpose. But the fear of going through life only to return to oblivion; lonely and nothing left behind but a gravestone left to erode into nothing along with the body beneath it. If I could change all the green lights in the world I would, if I could change all the people lulled by the friendly green light covering their paths I would but I can't. Instead I write to you to comfort you with the knowledge that not everyone is lulled by the captivating light but some can resist and change the green light.
