The Side Character ☑

Chapter 21 - I'm not picking up some random prostitute you picked for the night

I feel tears prickling at the back of my eyes as I force my feet to walk.

To walk away from him.

I know in my heart, that I can never ever bring myself to actually hate Ryder for anything. But his words shocked me.

And then all of it suddenly came crashing down.

Everything he said before. About him being monster, about him a bad influence and him hurting me, it all clicked.

Was he really all of that?

Was my Ryder really a monster?

It was clear that he was hurting from the inside. It was clear that he regretted what he did. But I needed time. I needed time to get it all sorted out. I needed to clear my head.

So I ran.

And I absolutely hated myself for being like this.

Without giving him a chance to explain properly, I ran because it was getting too much for me.

Then suddenly realization hits me as I stop in my tracks.

A chance to explain properly...

Fuck!

I didn't even give him that!

What if there was more to the story? Something that he didn't have the chance to tell me? What if he was forced to do it?

Shit.

He trusted me and he told me.

And what did I did?

I fucking ran.

The fuck?

I halt in my steps as it becomes clear what I should have done. I should have given him a chance to explain. I should have believed in him. I should have fucking stayed!

I glance around frantically and saw that I'm already standing at the exit of the carnival.

Shit, why the hell did I come so far?

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I'm so stupid! What the hell is wrong with me? I left him there all alone when he was finally starting to open up to me?

The hell?

In that moment, I make my decision right there and run.

But this time, not away from him. But towards him.

I messed up big time and now I must fix it.

I just hope that I'm not too late.

Dim lights twinkle from both of my sides as I swerve my way around the masses of stalls. Pushing my feet forward, I ran. People turn their heads to look at me weirdly as I ran through the crowd like a mad woman.

Shit, I'm such an idiot. How can I be such an idiot?

"Excuse me!" I hurriedly apologize as I crash shove someone away from my path.

The teenage girl yells at me from behind but I don't have the luxury to stop and apologize.

I slow my pace down to a jog as I reach the clearing we were lying on.

As I remember the moment, something claws at my chest painfully

It was such an amazing moment but because of my stupidity I'm not sure if I'll have it ever again.

"Ryder?" I call out as my eyes frantically look around searching for him, "Ryder?"

But he's not here.