Lifestyle: One Direction

Chapter Two

This is all in Penelope's view for now on, the whole book

Chapter Two:

My body raised in a cold sweat I could feel my heart and if it would bust out of my chest, staining my white shirt. But it didn't. I lay on one of the brown couches, familiar with the old surrounding and my watery eyes squinted at the time.

It read 2:00. I wasn't out long, I vaguely remember the boys going to return to their rooms no longer then 15 minutes ago. I haven't slept, the events that I have recently went through have diluted my state of sanity so much, that I questioned if I should of not come back that having someone give them the news I passed would be better on all our hearts, especially mine.

And yet my mind crawls back to that option, how the people around me won't see me fight with myself more then I ever have.

I propped myself up and looked around, deciding to look around. Nothing seemed to be touched, the dusting had been kept up and piles of crumbled paper by the marked dinner table no longer lay collecting dust.

My bruised and cut face looked healing and fine on the outside, but they hurt and I fought down the pain but they could only be a day old. I rummaged through the cupboards in the kitchen, finding the two pain killers, I held my head under the faucet downing them.

Slowly and cautiously making my way up the stairs, always skipping the tenth step because it squeaked, I padded down to my room, I stood maybe five feet away looking at the door propped half way open. I licked my chapped lips, holding a soft purple tone then a cute pink tinge.

I slowly pushed the door open, using the palm of my hand, and it didn't hold a cold feeling, but the heat was going and everything looked the same. I would remember.

I sat on the bed and quickly laid down staring the ceiling. There was a sun window and I examined the fall leaves that stuck to the window from the day old rain. Autumn arrived not to long ago and I felt as if I should run out side and climb a tree and sit in it, become a leaf, I felt exactly how the leaves right now. Old and dying falling to the ground due to the constant force of nature.

*5 months ago*

Rummaging through my ripped soggy bag I picked an old pair of black faded sweats and a black V-neck with old paint marks on it.

Clicking on the flickering light I let the steam engulf the room making my body sticky from sweat. The heat was calming, relaxing my stiff muscles, letting my joints roll more freely. Though the shower brought my physical body to peace, the shower filled with emptiness only water running and my thoughts made an unwelcoming appearance, as if it was some stalker, his heavy ragged breath heard from behind the corner with his muddy old boots just peeking out to know he's really there. He slowly sneaks up on me. My breaths become ragged and swallowing is a challenge.

I sink to the tiles and slid to the front of the tub, the steamy water pelting my red body. My fortress I've spent years building is being overran, being poisoned, tainted with by the stalker. It made me uneasy, I couldn't do anything about it though. I felt my strong willed soul being crippled under this force, I haven't fought one of my monsters this overpowering.

I have always been able to handle anything chucked in my direction, any situation I found a quick fix, it may of not lasted long, but slipping under the radar was what I did best. An imaginary force keeps me held to the tub but after I cry and I let the physical and emotional collide with each other I claw my way out of the tub and lay naked on the floor mat. I curled in a ball and laid there for a while longer, I didn't want to move come back to reality, but I act if what I am in is any better.

Walking out of the bathroom I sit in front of my bed. Stuck inside of a state of pain for hours was terrible, the clicking of the clock on the wall barred away by medal, it read 6:00 and the sun hadn't quite arrived yet. Wasted time, was all I could think to myself.

I grabbed a smoke from my pack stowed away deep in my bag, saved for the greatest of falls. I walked through the halls of the moldy motel and out to the flight of stairs, leaning against the rail and cuffed my hands around the lighter, keeping the flame going as I breathed in and lightly puffed on the cigarette to get it lite. I could imagine the damage this stick was doing to my lungs but I didn't care nor put anything thought into what I was doing right now, I almost took a blade and chopped all my hair off a couple weeks ago, but my hands fought against my brains commands and now I leave it in a tight braid, not wanting to be bothered by it, for I were to notice it again I might cut it without hesitation.

The glow was the only light around, the porch lights could slightly be seen from above me, and it was nice, being around something you felt like.

"Pretty lady shouldn't be out here by yourself."

"I could say the same to you." I said not bothering to look at the scum that bothered to talk to me.

I heard a slight puff of anger come from him, and I involuntarily rolled my eyes.

He rested his hand on my shoulder and I quickly spun him around to face the railing and I put my knee between his legs using my hip to pin him the it.

"Take the discourteous comment as a hint ass." I spat

"Jeez lady, I was just trying to be nice." He shrugged and I released him and he walked off not before turning around to stare at me, his eyes directly at my eyes.

"Not everyone's a bad guy." he remarked before storming off.

I quietly snorted and continued to puff on my smoke, taking long slow drags.

"Everyone's against me." I whispered

XOXO, Comet_