Emotionless

"Good morning dear, please, get ready so we can start. You know what day it is, don't you?" I heard those words and I shivered to her voice. Yes, I did, in fact, know the day. I looked at my mother from the bed, she smiled and left, I sighed. It was my birthday, but with every passing birthday, I didn't celebrate, for with every passing birthday, I got closer and closer to 18, and that was the last thing I wanted to be.

I got up from my bed and sighed again. My family was... different from others. It was a family tradition to do this thing to every generation when they turned 18. My family and I were never close. I was never the type to talk to my parents much. They just fed me, gave me clothes and such. But, I never felt like they were my family, more like people being forced to take care of a child. I remember every birthday I ever had, I would wake up and they would never say anything nor give me anything. They would just look at me and say "It's almost time, are you ready?".
I got dressed and went downstairs to greet my father. He looked up at me from his computer. "Good morning son, ready to continue the family tradition?". He had no facial expression, none of my parents actually did. I saw a tear run down his cheek when he said that but he wiped it off quickly. I was surprised, I've never seen either of my parents cry. My parents never really had emotion so they didn't laugh much, but when they did it was like they were forcing it. I looked at him and smiled slightly and he looked back down at his computer. He closed his computer and got up motioning me to follow him outside. "Your things are in the car." he told me, "Get inside and we will meet you there". There where? I thought but just brushed it off. I got in the car and looked out the window. My mom and dad were just staring at me with a blank face, I waved at them but their eyes just followed the car watching me leave. Before I realized where we were going, I felt a hand on my mouth and my world went black.

I woke up to the sounds of beeping, it was so bright, like the sun was right in front of me, but I was indoors. It smelled like... a hospital room. I was on a surgery bed but my hands and feet were tied. I started to panic. "Hello?!" I screamed, but there was no answer. Before I could scream again I heard the door creak open and in came a man, he was in his mid-fifties and he was wearing a lab coat. His hair was a dark gray and he was about my height. He had a small notebook but no face expression. He walked up to me and made a fake smile. "Hello Gray, how are you feeling?" he asked. I looked at him, top to bottom, analyzing him, "Confused" I answered. He nodded and wrote down in his notebook and I watched every move. "That's normal, let me explain to you then, why you're here, what we will do to you". I kept looking at him. "You know, emotions are a pain, don't you think?" I was dead silent. "You get sad, you cry, you get angry, you do and say things you regret and so forth. It becomes annoying, but, imagine if you had, no emotions hm? You would never be mad at your parents or have a fight with your partner, what a beautiful feeling that is. It would be... a perfect life." He looked at me with a sparkle in his eyes after saying that last phrase. "No pain, no love or hate, that's not human" I told him. He glared at me "To be human, is to not feel, to have emotions is to be weak. It would be easier to live your life son". Now that I thought about it, I've never seen my parents argue about anything. Everything was always so perfect for them. Well, that's how they acted like.
I glared at him this time "More like surviving". He looked at me and fake smiled again. "Don't worry, you won't have that attitude after a few minutes". He started walking closer to me "I'll make your life perfect" he told me. I spat on his face and he closed his eyes wiping it off. "Don't even think of touching me," I said. He walked behind me and adjusted a few machines to be facing behind my head, he lowered the headrest so I was completely flat on the bed and I felt a sharp pain on the side of my nape. "You see," he started "I will drill a hole through your skull, and it will hit the emotion nerves in your brain. With that, you will feel no more emotions". My eyes looked terrified and he looked at me, "Don't worry," he told me "it will only hurt a lot" he said smirking. The man put a silicone mouthpiece in my mouth and left the room. I tried to move but the straps were too thick, too strong. I heard a drilling noise close to my ear and tried to move my head but there was a strap around my neck. I felt the drill hitting my flesh, I started to scream. The drill felt like a thousand hammers hitting me across the head. I started to feel the blood gushing out, dripping down my nape and staining the bed. I've never felt so much pain before, I would rather just die. I kept on screaming, I could feel the veins in my body rise as I screamed and groaned out of pure pain. I saw the man looking at me from the small door window, no emotion. I glared at him hard, rage in my eyes. I then heard and felt a crack, it was going through my skull. The pain became one thousand times worse. My nails started to tore off from gripping at the bed frame too much, but it was nothing compared to the drill.
It went on for what felt like hours, I kept on screaming until... it stopped. It was still hurting but not as much. My face became blank, expressionless, emotionless. The doctor fake smiled through the little window and entered the room once more.

He untied me and I wanted to go straight for his neck, I wanted to strangle him for doing this to me, making me feel all that pain, but, nothing happened. I had so much rage and anger, but it didn't show. "How do you feel Gray?" he asked. "Great," I told him. But I didn't feel great. I wanted to tell him that, to run to the police and turn him in but I just stood up and thanked him. What's happening? I thought. Why can't I talk? Why can't I run? A few nurses came in the room to bandage me up and clean up the place. After they were done, the man brought me outside the room to speak. "We have to continue the tradition in some way, and unfortunately the weak humans aren't into the strong ones like us. So, we have other families with the same tradition, and we will pair you up with one of their daughters once they also turn 18". No! I don't want that! "Splendid," I said. I started to scream. I was trapped, inside my own body. It was like I was being controlled by... no one. It all became clear to me. To have a perfect life is to have no soul. I was empty and alone. Just like my parents when they turned 18.

It took a while for us to get outside, the "hospital" was pretty far into the ground. I stepped outside and saw my parents waiting for me, they just looked at me. I was walking towards them when the sky started to cry. I looked up and did nothing. I usually smile when it starts to rain, I love the rain. But I did nothing. I started to feel pain in my heart. This was never the life I asked for. It was never the life I wanted.

Unfortunately, that was twenty-two years ago. I'm in my study now, waiting. I hear footsteps come down the stairs and I look up from my computer "Good morning son, ready to continue the family tradition?" My son smiles, and I feel a tear run down my cheek.