Skylar; The Girl We Didn't Know

He was the guy.

The guy you could only dream of.

The guy you wanted to be yours.

The guy you'd cheat on your boyfriend for, just to get a taste of his sweet and taunting lips.

But he would only ever

hurt you.

And the pain was excruciatingly real,

and you couldn't help but love him.

You'd love him for his kind eyes.

You'd love him for his soft looking lips.

You'd love him for his cute dimples.

You'd love him for his sweet scent.

You'd love him for his warmness.

You'd love him for his lovely actions.

The actions that seemed so lovely, were just lies to get you to do what he wanted you to do.

He was a liar. He was a liar like everyone else you opened up to. And maybe it wasn't his fault. You were recklessly vulnerable and it amused him to watch you suffer.

It was never fair.

You were a pet to the 'populars,' but they knew you were so much more than that. They had to break you down. They enjoyed the suffering because they couldn't fathom the pain you've gone through for years.

You were more than a pet.

You were a diamond in the rough.

But they never saw the diamond in you, because if they did, they'd know you were unbreakable and gorgeous.

They were wrong.

But they wanted you to feel wrong,

as wrong as the mistake they made,

torturing you for all this time.

And you thought they were right.

They didn't know, the struggle was real,

as real as the amazingness you contain.

And you come home

from a terrible day of school.

The pain was unbearable.

Being naïve, you took the blade

because you thought that

was the only option.

But it wasn't your first time

digging the blade into your skin.

And this time, it's not just self harm,

you're going to end it all.

You enter the marks

into your fragile skin.

And put your body into the tub

and then you just sit there

You wait for all

the blood to be emptied

from your body

and into the tub.

Your lifeless body lays there

so peacefully.

Your mom comes home from work

and calls your name.

When you don't reply,

she worries

and searches for you.

She opens the bathroom door

and drops to the floor

"Somebody help!" She yells as loud as she can.

She knows nobody is there to help her

but she still tries.

She dials 9-1-1 as fast as she can.

"Help! My daughter tried to kill herself! Please help! I can't lose her too!" She's crying and she can't stop.

Those years that girl was tortured,

she was recovering

from the death of her father and brother.

They died in a car crash

on their way back from a hockey game.

The ambulance pull up in the driveway

and two men jump out the back.

Pulling a stretcher behind them.

They rush inside

to find the daughter

drowning in her own blood now.

Hours later, she wakes up on a hospital bed.

She thought she made her escape,

only to return back where she started.

She cries.

Her mother notices her awake.

"Why would you do this?" The mother asks as she cries to herself. "You can't leave me too. You could have said you were suicidal. I could have gotten you help."

"You can't help someone in my state. I'm in pain all the time. I thought I could kill the monsters in my head, but I made them stronger," the daughter proclaimed.

"You wanted to leave me," the mother is crying too much now, and the doctors escort her outside of the room.

"Lucky you survived. A couple more minutes and you would have been gone for sure," the doctor said as he stared at the girl.

"That was the whole point. I'm just unlucky I suppose," the girl stared at her covered up cuts. "Now what am I going to do? Do I have to stay here? What am I supposed to do now?"

"When you heal in a week or so you'll stay with the other patients with mental Heath disorders. You'll be here for a couple of weeks until we can trust you to go home. We don't want to see you back here for the same reason," doctor explained.

"I'll be stuck here but anywhere is better than school." She said worryingly.

The week past. And she was ready to go with the rest of the patients. It was her first time having to confess what was wrong with her. She's never been in a group circle.

The therapist stared at the girl, and then proceeded to speak. "So, why are you here Skylar?"

"I was the girl nobody knew or really tried to get to know better. But if you're referring to why I am here now, and what recently caused this, than prepare not to give a shit," the girl said rudely.

"Explain to the rest of us what happened. We care. And the whole point of recovery is admitting," the therapist said as she nodded her head.

"He was the guy. The guy you could only dream of. The guy you wanted to be yours. The guy you'd cheat on your boyfriend for, just to get a taste of his sweet and taunting lips. But he would only ever

hurt you."