It was painful. Every night I am at war with myself.
"You are worthless."
Every whispers I hear tear my every pieces. I hurt myself whenever possible to keep them away. To keep me from the numbness. I am scared.
"You are nothing but trash."
Every time night comes, I lose a part of me. As if bits by bits, they are ripping my sanity.
"Give up already, little miss no good."
They are messing my mind. Playing back every painful memories I have.
"Hateful human. You reeks of fear, grudge and lies. Die."
I always win whenever dawn comes. But I'm always left scarred. Every part of me smells like metal because of my blood coming from the cuts I made to my skin. But I am happy. I am happy because I won. I always win. But not tonight.
I hear laughter. Laughter coming from the depths of abyss within me. They are celebrating. They are so loud that my ears hurt, my mind throbs in pain. No, they can't win! But it seems the victory flag isn't mine tonight.
© helxiii
"I won't devour your disgusting soul. I will crush it until nothing remains of you. I will end your pitiful life. Tonight, I'll win."
And echoes of laughter plays. A very frightening one. No. No! You can't do this!
But no matter what I do, nothing happens. I started to feel numb. My vision's blurring. I cannot hear anything but a laughter I recognize as my own but it's not me! When my senses came back, I no longer in control of myself. It's not me...
I see no reflection of myself in the mirror. Instead, a heinous monster is staring back at me. Smiling despicably. Who are you!?
"I am you. The one you detest so much. And this time, I won. I won!"
I am not you! I will never be you! Leave me alone! Stop this! I don't want this!
"Shut it! You brought this to your pitiful self. Stop struggling. We'll have fun. How about we start on a killing spree?"
I hear horrifying laughter as the beast in front of me talk. I want out but I can't do anything. My voice won't come out. My hands and feet are tied. And all I see is what the monster could see. As if I'm seeing it myself. I saw how he drew a knife out of nowhere.
"Let's start and end this with you!"
The knife was aimed at me. Right where my heart lies.
Please, no!
—————End—————
© helxiii
09282016 AM1044
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