"This"
"Now!" Jimin yells out.
Its in this moment that everything around us lit up. Pangs of color dancing around everywhere. A magical ferris wheel greeting us as he goes round and round, little chariots ridding the merry go round, angry little bumper beetle cars waiting for their rider to take place, daring laser guns just calling out jimins name, dunk its, ice skating rank fit for a princess, everything you imagine that would be here. Jimin brought me to a theme park!!
"________? Whats wrong?.. why is your expression like that? Do you not like it?"
"Jimin.. I love it! Its so overwhelming.. its, like a fairytale!"
"Kkkk lets get going then shall we. A fairytale cant take place without its princess" he said with a bow.
Ofcourse, I blush. Such a cheesy line, but anyone who knows me, knows I'm a sucker for those.
"Okay, paper"
"Are we playin-"
"Scissors rock" Jimin pulls rock and I scissors.
"Okay, bumper carts it is!!"
"Kk okayy. Hm, if you were bumper carts, what was I?"
"Bumper carts"
I burst out giggling, that wasnt even fair! Jimin jinja
.
After hours and hours of playing go carts, whack a mole, ice skating and everything we decided to save the best for last.
"Hello ma'am, sir, step right in. Please ensure to keep all parts of your body within the cart whilst it is moving." Jimin helps me into the cart, and off it goes slowly making its way to the top.
"Oh my god. Look!! It's all so beautiful from here! Theres the bumper carts we went too! Oh!!! And theres the ice skating rank! And theres mr. Holes (a name we made up for the whackamole machine). Ah, its all so breathtaking! I could just stay here forever."
"Yeah.. your right. You are so breathtaking" Jimin said under his breath.
While I was taking in the view and mapping out everywhere we had been,
"Just one day, if I can be with you
Just one day, if I can hold your hands
Just one day, if I can be with you
Just one day (just one day)
________, I'll be going back to Korea soon. And.. I never want to forget about you. Although we have only known each other for a short period of time, I feel like I'v known you forever. You are someone special to me. I really, really like you. I want to find out more about you, I want to be with you 24/7. ________, will you go out with me?"
.
"Jimin.. I feel the same way.. but im so so sorry.. my answer is no.. I love everything about you, but.. how can we? Long distance relationships is too hard.. as well as all your fans. I don't want to cause any trouble for you. I like you, I really do but I don't see how its possible.. people like you and people like me dont work out.."
What am I saying right now?? Am I crying?? I just rejected my bias who I'v loved for all these years, and now that I met him I really did fall in love with him.. but im saying no??
Jimin leans over and puts my face in his hands. He looks me in the eyes and wipes away my tears.
"________, then come with me. Lets go to Korea together, you dont have to do anything, I can support you fully and w-"
I hold his hands and slowly pull them away from me.
"Jimin, mianhae.. I dont want to ruin your career.. I am a army as well.. and I only want whats best for you.. Jimin.. I'm sorry.."
We reach the top of the ferris wheel, and what should have been a beautiful moment, was a long silence; filled with coldness and sorrow.
.
The car ride on the way back to the hotel was silent. Jimin didnt even look my way. We drove like this all the way to the car park.
Just as I was about to open the door. "__________. Please, I need you. Please don't say no, and please dont leave me"
"Jimin... your better off without me.. mianhae.. I cant watch you break because of me.. I cant.. "
As I walk away from the car, tears streaming down my face, my phone vibrates:
'Dongsaeennngggaaaaaaa! Im sorry, I wont be home tonight or tomorrow, trevor took me out somewhere and we'll be staying here for a few days. Have fun without meeeee! But not too much fun. Shoot those damn birds if they wake ya again! xx'
Kk at least unnie wont see me like this. As soon as the car park is out of sight I run to my room and slam the door behind me. The tears fall in shitloads now. I miss him. I hate myself. I hate that Im not what army's would want. I hate that Im not stick figure skinny. I hate everything, I just hate that I'm me.
'COOKU COOKU COOKU' the yellow bird on the wall screeches at me. 12am and I cant sleep. The sleeping pills arnt helping either.
'Knock Knock knock'.
