You're my mate... I will never let anything happen to you

Chapter 9

December 15 

(5:00 p.m) 

I pulled my black crêpe. The victorian mourning gown my mother left me in her will, has finally needed to be used. Although I was not William's mate, I will still mourn him as if I was. I was in love with William and now he has left me alone here. 

He was found dead in the living room right next to the gun cabinet. A single bullet shot to the head, William killed himself. I will admit when I first heard the gun shot I thought it was just another illusion of my mind creates to put me in a scared to death piece of mind. 

I cried all through yesterday, I haven't slept in three days. I don't understand how it is possible for me not to be William's mate, I have never felt like this before in my life. 

I pulled the veil over my simple brown hair. I pulled the veil over my face, hiding most of my sad face. I have promised myself not to cry for this wake, but I don't think I will be able to stop myself from crying when I see the body of my beloved. 

Sean is being cared for by some of the other females while I am mourning. Sean knows and understands what happened with William. Sean will more than likely be quiet for the next few weeks around me.

William's wake will be at 5:30 p.m. Sean will stand beside me, dressed in black. Why do we have to wear black to a funeral? It just makes the whole situation more depressing! Why can't we wear white? In the Christian religion, they say that death is a happy thing, that the spirit goes off and lives forever in Heaven! Death is a happy thing!

No, this is just my grief. I just want to die! I have been trying to keep myself from killing myself for the past three days!

 "Natalie?" Mary, an elder woman of the clan, asked. She opened the door slightly. "Natalie? Are you ready to go?" 

I simply nodded. "Yes," I stuttered. 

I made sure my black shoes were well on my feet before heading downstairs to the living area. Where they have place my beloved for the wake. Tomorrow morning, William will be buried along side his grandmother. 

"Oh, you poor thing!" Mary said when she noticed my frown. She put her arm around me. "Don't worry, every thing will be all right." 

"I know," I whispered. 

(5:15 p.m) 

Sean grabbed and held onto my legs after running to me from down the hall. I simply bent down and gave my poor little boy a hug.

I don't even think he will show any emotions towards his father being dead in a coffin. He is a child, he doesn't understand death like adults. Children are innocent to everything, they do wrong, but they don't get into trouble for it as harshly as adults. 

Children are innocent, I wish I could just be a child again, before all of my gun training. Before anything! I just want to be an innocent little girl again! But I can't, can I? Of course, not. 

(5:30 p.m) 

I stared down at my deceased mate. I shouldn't even call him my mate, because he wasn't my mate at all. 

I felt a tear slip down my face and roll off my face. "I love you." I murmured to William before I got back to the place where I am supposed to stand. 

I felt myself go weaker as I walked away to the typical place a wife/mate stands. All the clan stands or sits and waits until the time comes for them to wish their sorrow for me. 

"Momma?" Sean said looking innocently up at me. "Who is that guy?" 

Sean pointed to a man I recognized as Evan. God that bastard! How dare he show up here? Because of him William is dead! Without Evan, William and I could have lived out our lives completely oblivious of the fact that we weren't really mates.

Now here Evan is probably trying to give his sympathy to me. How dare he? I don't care if he can hear my thoughts! I am sick of him! He has ruined my life more than anyone ever has before. 

"That is the man who caused all of this!" I hissed in a low tone. 

Don't be made at me, I just came to say that I am sorry about what happened with William. I truly am. Evan sent me a wave of comfort. I ignored it. 

Leave me alone! This is all your fault! I cried. Stay out of my head! 

Calm down, Natalie. I know you are hurt... 

You don't know anything about me! I spat. 

(6:00 p.m) 

"I am so sorry for your lose." Kirk said softly to me. 

Kirk wrapped me into a hug. I simply sniffled. "it's going to be okay. Keep yourself strong for Sean. I don't want him orphaned." Kirk ordered as he began to walk away. 

Sean got Kirk next. "Remember to keep an eye on your mother. I want you to become her protector, you are in charge of her safety." Kirk ordered to Sean in a friendly tone. 

"I will," Sean promised. 

"Good kid," Kirk said ruffling Sean's hair. 

I straighten Sean's hair back as soon as Kirk left. He has to look professional here, not like a ruffing. 

Sean didn't bother to mess with his hair, he just looked innocently back at me. I managed to fake a smile. 

My smile faded when Evan became the next in line to tell give me his conduces. "I'm sorry for your loss." Evan said looking at me with a sympathetic look in his eyes. 

"Thank you," I murmured beneath my veil.

"You need to embrace the truth Natalie," Evan whispered to me. 

"I will embrace the truth of all of this when I brave up and put a bullet to my head." I whispered in anger. 

"Don't do that!" Evan whispered. 

Evan moved closer to me, staring at me with his deep blue eyes. "You are mine Natalie, you can't seem to understand that. With William gone, we can be together, as the mates we are supposed to be. Come with me, you can bring your son with you, there is nothing left for you here." 

I felt a tear fall down my face. "How dare you come here?! You dare show up here at William's wake expecting me to suddenly fall all over you in love! Sir you are gladly mistaken that I would dare, ever follow you!" I spat. 

"I can see you are hurt. I shall be back for you when you embrace the truth that you are my mate and belong to me." Evan whispered as he left. 

"I belong to no one!" I screamed through tears at him as he walked out the door. 

I pulled off my veil in tears. I ran out of the living room and up to my bedroom chambers. 

My vision was so blurred with tears, I hardly know how I managed to get up the stairs. 

I shut my door behind me, making sure to lock it behind me. 

I allowed myself to cry aloud. "God! Please! Please! For once, please don't let me ever fall in love again! Look at me! I am a wreck! I just want to die!!!" I prayed aloud. 

I slid down the door in tears. This is all Evan's fault! If it wasn't for Evan, William would still be alive! Safe with Sean and I, no sadness just simple peace in the thought of us being together as a family. 

It's Evan's fault, and I am taking my revenge! 

I took off my mourning dress. I put on a black tank top and a pair of black pants. 

I went through my drawers looking for the one thing that will solve my problems. My old 9Mm pistol... 

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Well, that is the end of that chapter! Hope you liked it! Read on to find out what the Hell happens! 

Cat ♥