Red vs Blue Oneshots

Relationship Troubles

Church x Texas, curse words/bad language.

"No Tex, you listen to me! I'm done with your shit! I'm done arguing with you all the damn time! I'm done!" Church yelled, interrupting Tex.
"Oh there you go again! See, that's what I'm trying to tell you, you don't listen!" Texas yelled back.

The two soldiers went back and fourth, yelling at each other and arguing. It scared Caboose, so he went to Red Base to spend time with Donut. Tucker had just given up trying to auspitize them (I will explain to non-Homestucks at the end of the chapter) and no longer gave a damn.

Arguments and fights happened a lot between the couple, and everyone knew it was a common ordeal. Everyone was also wondering when they'd break up. If they ever did, that is.

Finally, Tucker gave up his previous "I don't give a damn" statement and intervened.

"THATS ENOUGH!" He yelled.
"I'm sick and tired of hearing you two argue all the fucking time, so Church, you go find Caboose and apologize for scaring him, and Tex- go talk to Sheila or some shit. I don't care. But both of you, stay away from each other for the rest of the day to cool down." Tucker ordered, pushing them both out of the base to go their separate ways.

Time skip of fabulousness brought to you by Private Donut aka Captain Flaky Pastry.

It was dinner time, and everyone was gathered at their respective bases, except Caboose who decided to stay the night with Donut at Red Base.

Texas sat at one end of the table, while Church sat at the other. Both glared at each other from across the table.

"Alright you two. Apologize, and don't be assholes about it." Tucker demanded.

"Fine. Texas, I'm sorry I yelled at you." Church stated civilly.
"And?" Tucker said.
"And calling you a bitch."
"And?"
"And saying I hated you."
"And?"
"Oh my god Tucker! Fine! I'm sorry for everything and I don't actually hate you, you just make me angry because you can be a bitch sometimes." Church admitted.

"I accept your apology Church. I'm sorry for calling you a lazy asshole and saying I hated you. Even though you can be a total pain in the ass sometimes." Tex said through gritted teeth.

Church knew it was the most sincere apology he was gonna get from his girlfriend. "I accept your apology."

"GREAT! Now we can all just get along and have peace and quiet- er... the most peace and quiet we can get in Blood Gulch." Tucker breathed a sigh of relief.

Tucker then came to the realization that this peace between his friends may not last long. Oh well.

Okay, first order of business is- The next chapter will be Donut x Caboose and will take place after Caboose goes to Red Base because of Church and Tex's yelling.

Second- Auspitize. In Homestuck, there are four "Quadrants", Matesprites, Moirails, Auspistice, and Kismesis.
An Auspistice is a relationship between three people, the third party being someone who is kind of a "facilitator" of sorts. Keeping peace between the other two parties who argue frequently.
Like Tucker, in this oneshot, he made sure that Tex and Church stopped arguing. That's the best way I can explain it.