All Gone // lashton

Chatper 4

3 months later
September 6th 2015
LUKE'S POV:

I sit in my room contemplating whether I should get out of bed or not. I can see the sun shinning through the mini blinds of my room. On mornings like this Ash and I would stay in bed as long as we could till we'd have to get ready for rehearsal. I miss those days.

It's been three months since Ashton's been home. I remember that day. I was getting ready to surprise Ashton with new drum sticks that he can use opening night on our tour. Little did I know that day would change both of our lives. After that day there has been no communication between us. He doesn't even look at me.

He spends most of his time in his room and only comes out for food or when he needs to go somewhere, which is rare.

The only person he talks to is Calum.  But Calum won't tell me anything they talk about. I know he just doesn't want to hurt me. I like to think they talk about what his life is, and not what his mind decided it to be when he was in his coma. Or maybe they talk about what Ashton thought his life was like.

I miss him. He doesn't remember us. Him and I that is. In three days we would have been together for a year. I hate to think about it. We were so happy... but he hates me now and I can't figure out why.

He comes to rehearsals, he's learned all our songs. He was reluctant at first, saying things like "What's the point we're just going to break up anyway". But he did it, I think he felt a sort of responsibility to hold up. Even though he had no interest in any of it.

He's nothing like himself. Although every now and then he'll laugh and we all get excited cause it's like the old him is back. But it doesn't last. He always has a dark circles under his eyes and doesn't care much about his appearance, I mean he never really has. He drinks more. In the old days he would only drink at a party or celebration. He never really was into it. He's really let himself go and its killing me.

Just as I decided to get out of bed. I walked to my dresser and looked in the mirror. I ran my fingers though my hair. I didn't look too good either... Staring at my reflection I saw  the out line of my ribs, the once abs I once had have now disappeared into a flat concaved stomach.  I don't eat that much anymore and I myself have jut stopped caring about my appearance, not that I don't want to, just I cant bring myself to do normal things. There's no point.

Lost in my reflection a knock at my door brought me back to earth.

"Come in" I said as I cleared my throat and reached for a clean shirt. Ashton walked through the door, he was wearing one of my old t-shirts from a Green Day concert. I kind of giggled to myself knowing he thought it was his.

"Um hey..." He said looking at the ground. His voice was deeper than normal, but still soft. It used to get like that when he was depressed. I wish I could just talk to him. I know I could help him. But he's talking to me now and I don't want to push my limits. Although his voice made me smile.

"H-hi, what's up Ash?" I stuttered as I pulled the semi-clean shirt over my head, trying  not to make eye contact just as much as he was.

"Michael wanted me to tell you we're leaving in ten." He whispered as he turned out the door, his head still peeking through waiting for my answer.

"Oh okay... thanks. I'll be down in a sec I just have to freshen up" I said with a lump forming in my throat.  Ash gave me a nod and proceeded to exit.

" Ashton, wait" I said stepping closer to the door.

"Yes?" His eyes widen.

" Do you even remember us?" I blurred, shocked that the words even left my mouth.

"Excuse me?" He looked at me as if I was crazy. Those eyes turning into anger and confusion in a matter of seconds. Have some balls Luke this is your only shot.

"I don't understand how you can just forget reality! Our relationship! Ashton I fucking love you and I can't take watching you soak in your on self pity!" I said with tears building up in my eyes.

I looked at him, grabbed his face, and kissed him. His lips were so soft and perfect I missed them. I missed kissing him and holding him and just being with him. Three months I have waited for this moment. But I knew the mistake I made the moment our lips touched.

"What the fuck did you just do you fag?!"Stay the fuck away from me! " He exclaimed as he punching me. I fell to the ground from the impact . Then slammed the door behind him.

I laid on the ground trying to catch my breath.