Confessions of Jane

Confession #19 : i need a love life

*** Ayyyyyy an update!!! Enjoy!!
***

So Joel left very abruptly and never told me when our "date" would be.
It's been over a week and I haven't seen or heard from him.

I don't know if I'm disappointed or if I'm happy about the fact that Joel hasn't contacted me. He just brings out a side of me that I've tried so hard to lock away. But he also makes me feel alive and wanted. I know it's so lame but lately I've been feeling alone in my life with no attachments. I kinda crave to be with someone but at the same time I don't want anyone to drag me down.

It was Friday morning so I decided to wake up early and go to the gym before work.

I really have been doing better on loving my body and not depriving it from food but I still stay active and eat a strictly healthy diet.

After the gym I headed to work. I was opening today so I was the first one there. It was pretty slow for the first hour so I decided to read a book.

I was so lost in my novel that I was reading that when Cindy, my co worker tapped on my shoulder I nearly had a heart attack.

"Woah Cindy way to sneak up on me! at least say hi when you walk in" I said still recovering from being pulled out of my book trance.

"Sorry Jane, what are you reading any ways?" Cindy said trying to take my book.

"Just some lame Nicholas Sparks book, I need love in my life" I said sighing.

We both started laughing and talking about how fake those books are compared to real life.

"I'm going to take my break"

"Okay take your time!"

I walked out of the store and went to a nearby coffee shop to get a latte.
It was pretty chilly out so I wanted something to warm me up.

I pulled out my iPhone and started thinking about Joel again. That stupid boy making an appearance in my life and giving me false hope.

I scrolled through my contacts and realized I still have his number saved.

I started to call him on impulse but quickly realized that was a dumb idea and hung up before it got to the third ring.

Damn it I'm so stupid. I need to forget about him.

One minute later my phone started ringing and it was him.

I picked up and let out a squeaky hello.

"Janey doll did you call?"

"Me? No um that's weird I must of butt dialed you" I said tripping over my words.

"Oh okay well I was just checking" Joel said in a confused voice.

"Yeah.." I said awkwardly not wanting to be the first to say bye.

"Well I guess I'll let you go then if you didn't mean to call" Joel said

Wait seriously? Still nothing about the date.

"Um yeah okay" I said with a frown.