Heres the first chapter. if you enjoy it please like/comment/vote it'd mean the world.
love you all. enjoy xx
Hi Louis, so i know you hear this all the time and I'm sure i sound like everyone else in the world. But i wanted to tell you you're spectacular and i can't imagine living a day not hearing your beautiful voice, not seeing those deep blue eyes, and that glowing smile. I see that it's fading and that's okay no one can be happy all the time like you try to do. i truly respect you for that. i'm sorry i wasn't the one that was able to make you shine. It killed me knowing that Eleanor could, and it absolutley destroyed me when you had told me about her. I know i never told you my true feelings and i wish i would have, then maybe things would be different, and i wouldn't be here about to do this. I'm writing you this to say goodbye.
I hope no one finds me. i don't want to live another day where i can't call you mine and hold you in my arms forever. Everytime i think of it my stomach churns and its truly unpleasant. You were or are still my best freind, i guess thats why i never told you my true feelings. I Harry Edward Styles am in love wiht my best friend Louis William Tomlinson. I said it, though i wish i could tell you face to face, but obviously im to chicken shit to even come close to it. You'll read this and you will then know my true feelings, i'm scared to see your reaction and hear what you have to say. It'll be bad i already know it. I can feel it in my gut. It goes along with the same chruning Eleanor gets.
I guess it's better that i end everything before my heart gets crumpled up into pieces ( not like it already hasn't been ) by my what would be ex-best friend. I haven't decided exactly how i want to end it. I'm thinking either pills or hanging. Which ever will be a better condition for the funeral. I'd absoulutley hate for everyone to see cuts all over my body. Making their pain much worse. It's now 10:30pm and in 10 minutes at 10:40pm i willl have made my mind up and decided my fate. You'll receive a text from me saying " I love you " , unforenatley you will think nothing of it because that is our routine everynight.
This will be my last text to you, forever... It has now been 10 minutes and honestley i am completley ready to go. I want you and only you. no one in this world could ever compare to how perfectly imperfect you are, and if i cant thave you then i don't want to be here on this earth anymore. I'd die for you, but i would never ask you to do the same, you wouldn't anyway. I've chosen my way of leaving. I'll take the pills, the whole bottle in 3... 2... 1... goodbye Lou.
