wish I was on Novocain
Screaming through these migraines
These thoughts won't go away
Hoping the pain will fade
But the demons only get a stronger hold on me
I think I lost my mind long ago
Cuz I've been seeing a rope hang low
I'd be lying if I told you I'm fine
But I'm a liar
These thoughts that I would never speak out loud
But if you listen close you can hear me shout
These feelings won't ricochet
Wish I was fucking faded
Or even wasted
I'm sinking down in my thoughts
I wish I was fine
But I also wish this was my last night
The demons are dragging me down
I'm drowning
And I keep going down
But I'll tell you I'm not
I swear I'm not
But I'm a liar
I got to stop overthinking
And wondering what could of been
Dreaming you were here
I'm Praying for a reaper
Life doesn't get easier
I am drowning
And my sensitivity will be the death of me
I want more time
I also wish this was my last night
My mind still won't die
I just feel so tired
I was told "you're not you when you're drinking"
And I reply with "that's the fucking point"
My demons take hold
They must think this is all or nothing
But I'm still falling down below
But I'll never let anyone know
I'm such a mess inside
I want to feel alive
But I'm a liar
An escape is what I need
Cause all of my demons are beyond belief
Im on the way down screaming
I'm not scared of dying
My heart feels like frost
People being in love is all I hear
But being alone is what I fear
"You can be loved"
I don't want to lie to myself
But I'm a liar
These are the toxic thoughts on my mind
I just want to close my eyes
I want to be high
But Even when I'm flying 45,000 ft In the air
I feel like I'm 6 feet under
I know it will get better
But I'm a liar
