City of Dreams

The Beginning

"So I take it you haven't been here for long?" Jasper asks, finally releasing my hand and beginning to devour his ice cream.

"Woke up this morning actually, still trying to get used to all of this." I gesture to the City around me as I admit to how overwhelming the experience has been so far.

"I've been here for a couple of days now, and trust me it gets better." He flashes me another one of his cheeky smiles. I get the feeling that it's one of his signature expressions, and it momentarily stuns me. A smile like that should be reserved as a weapon. It blinds you, makes you feel special and personally, makes me feel weak in the stomach.

I shake the feeling away. This is the first chance that I've had to talk to someone since I've got here, and I know I need to ask the question that has been bugging me since I arrived. But it's so personal that I'm afraid of crossing a line. What if he thinks I'm being too invasive? There's only one way to find out.

"Hey Jasper?" He raises his eyebrows in invitation for me to continue. "I was just wondering, and don't answer if you don't want to, but do you ever have trouble remembering things?" I can't even look into his eyes, I just feel so ashamed at asking a guy I barely know something so private.

"Honestly, things do get a little blurry if I try and force myself to think about things." I look up, hope blossoming in my chest that I'm not the only one going through this. His brows furrow and he looks off into the distance as he thinks more about my question. "But then I just think, I chose to come here, to start a new life, and there's no easier way to do that than forget about the past. Especially one that must have been full of pain." His eyes glass over, the twinkle momentarily gone but as soon as the cloud comes, it descends and he smiles at me once again. I smile back, encouraged by his honest answer.

"Well, thank you for that. I feel so much better. And thank you for the Ice Cream!" I laugh shyly and wipe my hands on a napkin. They may taste good, but in a heat like this, it's a race to finish it before it completely drenches your hand. He waves his hand in a nonchalant way to brush aside the issue. An awkward silence appears. I smile awkwardly and scuff my shoe on the floor. "Well I guess I'd better get going."

"Oh of course, do you have any plans?" Jasper stuffs his hands into his pockets and glances down at me. I take a side step so that Jasper is blocking out the sun for me, and I can finally look into his eyes without squinting. He smirks as he recognises what I've done and I can feel heat creeping into my cheeks, I obviously wasn't as subtle as I thought, it's just that he's so tall. I mean, I'm not short or anything but he's just so tall.

"Not really, no. I'm kind of making this up as I go along." I shrug and smile. Now it's Jasper who is studying his shoes and scuffing them along the pavement.

"Well, if you want, I could take you to this bar tonight? They normally play really good music and it's such a good atmosphere." His eyes are piercing mine and he bites his lip. I can tell that he must be nervous to ask me. And right now, I can't think of anything I'd rather do.

"That sounds really fun." I grin and am rewarded by a lazy, toothy grin appearing on his face. He really does have such a wonderful smile. After agreeing to a meet up spot and a time, we go our separate ways and I head back to my flat.

.

Standing back in front of the mirror, I place a hand onto my stomach. I'm not sure what these feelings are. My stomach feels like it wants to take flight, my skin is tingling and my chest feels tight. I search back through my fleeting glimpses of my past, but can't pinpoint a time I went on an actual date with an actual boy. I offer my reflection an encouraging smile, and a nervous giggle bursts out of my lips. This is crazy! All I can think about is his smile. His wide, goofy grin. And the way it makes his eyes twinkle. Tonight is going to be so good, a chance to get to know him a little bit better and be on the receiving end of his smiles once again.