A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...
But please don't shove me either!"
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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon
dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her other
and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now,
will he let us go?"
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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would
you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
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A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before
she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping." ( I love this one)
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Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph
and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small
child replied "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny
responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
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Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, "What do you think about all
this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus
turned out. It's probably just your dad."
