Sent

Chapter 1 Alone

  I look up to the black board facing me with dizzy eyes and a slouched posture, I sit up and hear the teacher babbling with his slurring tough, wasting his breath on students that don't understand a word he spoke. Who am I to blame I wasn't paying much attention either, my mind was fixated on other issues at hand, more important things. The bell began to ring with an echoing sound that fled though the halls of the school, the class rushed out of their seats immediately and out the door. On my way home the breeze went right through my body leaving a cold chill running up my spine, the cold was intense. The feeling of this coldness still remains in my veins drowning my insides completely. Why does the cold still float through my body and aching mind? Maybe because the memories, or the feelings I still have today. The feeling is frightening, feeling alone, hurt, lost, and the sound of madness ringing through my mind, like a whirlwind. I step inside though the door to my quite empty home. It's so quiet you can hear the sound of my footsteps clanking on the hardwood floor as I walk to my room. I throw myself onto my bed, I lay there for a long minute processing everything that's happened in the last month. I sit up and pull out a photograph out of the bedside table. It's a wedding photo, this photo was a wedding photo of my parents. Still together living happily, alive...I began to shed bloody tears that burn my cheeks. I rub the tears off with my arm making the burn worse. I get up and slowly walk to the bathroom and start unbuttoning my shirt dropping the shirt onto the tile floor, than I slide my pants off, than unclip my bra then slip my underwear off.  I shove my clothes into a pile in a corner by the door, I reach up and open a cabinet and grab a towel and hang it by the bath. I turn on the bath to a hot temperature, as I wait for the bath to fill I look in the mirror at my pail bony body, my eyes bloodshot with dark red circles under them from crying so many nights alone. I step into the boiling bath, stinging my body, I bare the pain. The steam in the bath soaked into my skin turning to a bright pink.  I dip my long hair in the tub, letting the heat burn my scalp. It hurt, it hurts like hell but I bare it anyways. No one loves me, I'm alone, I hate myself, it's my fault my parents died in the car crash, it's my fault....that night my parents rushing home to me, because I told them to get home quickly. Sense then all my friends left, they left me, they all left!  I hate it! Why did they leave?! Now I'm just stuck here alone....I'm infuriated with them, real friends stick with you till the end and support you in you're most difficult times! But no, they all thought I was mad, and that no one can help me. How shitty of them. I am better now but, I feel unwanted, I feel upset, I feel like everyone feels sorry for me when they shouldn't, and they all look at me with a sorry look on they're face or just don't look at me at all.  It sucks my life sucks, I wish I was dead, I wish I could just kill myself! Maybe I should I don't deserve to live, I doubt that anyone would care.  I don't have anyone anymore I have no one who is worth living for anyways, I'm so alone...