Forgiveness

It was a beautiful day; the sun was shining down on everything, making things glow in its light.  The birds were singing a happy song as they flew around us in pairs and a slight breeze was blowing so softly that it felt like it kissed my check, yes it was a beautiful day and it was all wrong.

It was all wrong that the sky wasn't grey with thunderclouds flashing against the sky.  It was wrong that people still smiled and carried on their day as if nothing has happened. Why, why is it like this, why was the earth still moving, why was everything so normal.  Don’t they know what day this is, don’t they understand.

Obviously they’re too stupid to know that the world has ended.  I turned my eyes away from the disgustingly normal world and looked at the people around me, most of them were crying; big fat droplets of tears running down their faces.  Others were trying to put on brave faces, but they weren't fooling me, I could see the tears in their eyes.

As my eyes landed on everyone that was gathered around this one spot, fully aware of the great loss that the world had suffered today, until my eyes landed on him.  To anybody else he would be handsome, with his dark chocolate skin, fine muscled body spent playing football for our school and with green eyes the colour of jade crystals.  Yes to everybody else he would be handsome but to me, he’s the most hideous and vile person on this planet.

His eyes suddenly met mine and held for a few seconds and then he smiled at me, smiled at me, the nerve of that fool.  I dropped my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at him, but that proved to be a mistake for my eyes landed on the reason why all of us were gathered here today.

It laid on a platform, 84 inches by 28 inches and 23 inches in height and surrounded by red and white roses.  I looked and looked and looked at it, wishing that that thing didn't exist, that because of me that coffin was necessary.  That because of me my best friend is lying down in it, that because of me my best friend is dead.

My name is Jordin Walker

And I killed my best friend

Angel Barns

We all bowed our heads as the priest as he said the final prayer.  I looked over at Mr. and Mrs. Barns as they held each other in their grief, tears were rolling down their faces; watching their faces made me the closest to tears since the incident.  Mrs. Barns looked up at me and smiled and I felt sick to my stomach.  How can she still smile at me after knowing what I have done?

______________________

When the funeral was over everyone was invited over to the Barn’s house to show their condolences.  I didn't want to go but my mom made me.  Now as I stood in the corner of a place that I once considered my second home, once filled with warmth and laughter now felt cold and empty.

I looked around at all the sad faces, feeling worse by the second.  No one was watching me with accusing eyes, no one was whispering about why I was here, even after I had done.  Instead when they passed me, they gave me a sad smile, some even hugged me, telling me how they are sad for my loss.

I feel so horrible, I had to escape, I had to get out of here.  I pushed off against the wall and followed the familiar path to Angel’s bedroom.  I closed the door to all the sad faces and turned around to look at the room.  It looks so normal, I feel like Angel is just going to burst through the door any minute, apologizing for making me wait long.

The memory brought a sad smile to my face; I walked around the room touching everything in my path. The posters that we had up of Chris Brown and Trey Songz (we could never decide who was hotter).  The Pokemon lamp that I gave her for her sixth birthday, it’s shaped into a Pickachu with a lampshade on its tail.