Confessions of a Confused Teen

back

I'm back and , I've got a few things to say.

I'll update you on every situation.

With Brandon:

He ghosted. I luckily didn't have to drop him because he left first.

With Jacob:

I ghosted, we still talk a bit but only friend wise.

With Braxton, Daniel, and Melody:

It never happened. No smoking happened but, something else did.

Something else:

With Braxton:

:) Where should I start? I'll go with our story.

So, beginning of 8th grade, he was in 7th grade.

We talked, we dated for 5 months, I broke up with him because I thought I liked someone else better. I dated that someone else for only a week. Braxton and I still tried to be friends but, we always got in fights over the dumbest things. (I later realized it was because he was still mad from the break up and he still had feelings for me) Anyways, we stopped talking. Soooo now its Jan-April 2017, I talked to him more often, and he got a little flirty and so did I and I started realising that I was falling for him again. I always had this thought that he would NEVER give me a second chance, he would never love me again.
Well, we were talking about how much we missed each other (I hadn't seen him since the end of 8th grade) so he invited me to go to the movies with him to catch up and hang out. (This took place on April 22nd.)

Soooo obviously with my little crush that I had on him, I said yes and then asked "Only you and me?" and he told me "Unless you want to bring a friend?" and i said "No, I think only us is fine." and he said "Good. Me too." and so it was just us.

We watched the new Beauty and the Beast and during the movie he made fun of something that happened and, did the boi hand motion/sign thing and I went to put his hand down and, he grabbed my hand and held it instead. I. was. dead.

Sooo at the end of the movie we stood by the exit just talking then my dad was on his way to pick me up.

Once he got there, Braxton hugged me like he would never see me again so I did the same.

After that, we talked on the phone later that night for about 10 minutes then it got kind of quiet and this was our conversation: (it was now April 23rd because it was after 12am)

him: so..
me: sooo...
him: wait so like
me: are we..
him: are we?
me: i mean you never asked.
him: yeah well i kind of just assumed.
me: still waitingg
him: oh right sorry im an idiot
me: *silent*
him: caitlin, would you like to go out with me?
me: i would love to.
him: im smiling so hard rn
me: me too

Then, we continued to talk for at least 4 hours after that.

Fast forward to now, I'm still with him and I'm still as happy as I was the day he asked me to be his girlfriend.

I'm very lucky he gave me a second chance and decided to love me again.💘

Now, I could go on for YEARS ranting about how much I love him but, I'm not going to torture you guys. I'll move on.

~~~~~

So, I realised what caused me to feel/think/do those things in my second semester of 9th grade. It was one of my ex-boyfriends, he cheated on me and I felt like I wasn't wanted. All I wanted to feel was wanted, so that's why I talked to Brandon and Jacob I think. Also, I wanted to smoke because I wanted to do something different. I wanted to change myself after what happened. But then, after everything I did, someone showed me that I didn't have to change at all.

Thank you, Braxton.💞

~~~~~

With friends:

I realised I was being stupid and ignorant and my friends did not hate me. They just didn't like the fact that I was doing those things to change myself.

I'm still friends with all of them and, I've made a few new friends too.

It's national best friends day so, shout out to them!!❤ love y'all😘

Okay, I think that sums up everything.

I feel a lot better and I can wear a real smile, not a fake one.

I feel wanted, not used.

I feel happy, I feel like me.

I'm still going to use this account to write a couple stories or fanfics.

This will always stay posted as a reminder that life has it's ups and downs and you should never give up because no matter how hard it may seem, things will always get better. I want everybody to stay strong no matter how bad things are. Just find what makes you happy and, don't let anybody take it away from you.

(Oh and P.S. It's summer!! I'll be a sophomore next year!😱)