thoughtless

the end

‪To feel worthless. To BE worthless. I know. You just have to smile through the pain and trust me I know it's the hardest thing you could ever do but you have to do it. We all do because that's just life.‬ "I hate my life". "I'm clearly such a bad person that everyone fucking hates me". I understand how it feels to walk in the halls and to hear things being said about you. "Slut", "thot", "dirt". "Am I really all those things?" I know you question yourself and wonder what it would be like to be the girl who has "everything". Living Up to people's expectations become harder and harder day by day. It's as if you're drowning in everything society tells you to be. Trying to help others just turns people against you. Others constantly talk about how they're lives are so fucking hard and miserable yet those are the same people that make it a struggle to wake up in the morning because you know that you have to be faced with those problems on a daily basis. Having a few obstacles your life can be challenging but having the whole world turn against you? Now that's the real struggle. It's as if each day gets harder and harder to function. Talking is battle because trying to find the right words to say is hard. Saying too little makes you the awkward one in conversations and saying too much is "annoying". Making mistakes in life is something that everyone does now and then but some of the mistakes you can make can be a dangerous thing. Getting drunk at parties, smoking weed with your friends to have a "good time" are things some of us do. There seems to be a limit to these things. Being unable to control yourself under these influences is a risk. What if you hookup with your best friends ex? Bad. Fucking. Move. But it's okay because you didn't know what you were doing, right? Wrong. Everything has consequences and sometimes those consequences can start fights, end friendships, or even end lives. Everything comes with consequences. Social media for instance. Instagram, twitter, snapchat all these things have one thing in common. Once you hit the "send", "post", or "publish" button it's officially OUT THERE. You can't change that. Sure it might not be "saved in the chat", and you can hit delete anytime you want but it's never really gone. It will always be out there for anyone at anytime to see. You might think that just because you've deleted the post it's gone for good, but it's not. People's lives get ruined. No one actually seems to understand that. A fucking person, a human being just like you and me, their life is now ruined just because of that one arrogant decision you made. Maybe this was a way to get back at someone or "just for the laughs". What you don't realize is that now that it's out there you can't EVER delete it. You've ruined that persons life and it's your own fault and now you have to live with that stupid decision for the rest of your life. Whether it's verbally, emotionally, or physically hurting someone, YOUR hurting them. You. Not anyone else. YOU. It's because you didn't take another minute or even a fucking second to think about how you would effect that persons life because of your careless decision. But it's okay right? Because life goes on. unfortunately you could have been the reason for that human being to take their own life away. For what? Revenge? A joke? Your reckless decisions influenced the chances of life for another human being and now you have to live with that. Or don't.