She's had enough.

I had to run somewhere.
I didnt know where somewhere was.
I had nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide.
I had nowhere to escape, even after all the positive things they said I didnt change a thing. Maybe they got one of my fake smiles, or one of my dumb comments. But thats all. I didnt change a thing. The voices in my head screaming, the scars on my arms and legs, the tears that fall upon ny cheek, they didnt dissapear. They are still there.
So thats when I decided to run away, deep into the forest I went, After all the bad things I have made that was the only solution for an escape, just for some minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years.. Maybe even forever. But what do I know?
She had already left me and I had nothing else in my head;
How could I be so stupid,
I really must be an idiot for someone to leave me like that.
I dont have anyone else.
Shes the only one i trusted.
Clearlt she lied, just like everyone else.

I didnt have anyone else and that was true, Noone else ive ever known has ever said that many nice things, But she acually made me believe that. She made me kind of happy acually and I was for a while. Until that horrible day, it was rainy and she just stopped. Stopped the texting. It just stopped, And she hasnt came back. Most of her friends tell me thats shes just left me. And thats probably true, She has probably had enough of my stupidness.

But now I was there, Deep in the forest. Alone in the dark, Alone in my own head. Trapped inside the voices.
They always tell me to drown the voices with my music, But it never works. Obviosly they have no idea how it is to be depressed, or self harm, or starve yourself. Obviosly they have no idea. But that quote i read yesterday, Just one sentence and still just screams out everything ive been struggiling with the past couple of years. All the old scars will somegow fade away, They werent so deep. But theese that ive made nowadays, all the burn marks and knife deep cuts. They wont never go away. I will all my lifetime have them there and that bothers me. But it was my own fault and now I cant go back and undo it.
Everything is my fault, everything is just messed up

I wish I could start over again, with everything...