Today I hung out with my only two friends. All was fine and dandy. The only issue today was when I got home.
Just to clarify. I'm very grateful for the things I have and my dog.
My mom isn't the most stable person. She has secrets and issues. I'll only discuss one of them. Which has been an issue for a very long time.
The issue is that my mom gets totally "dick whipped" when she likes a guy. To the point where we, her children, don't actually matter to her. Some things she does is, make everything about the guy, force us to pretend we are perfect around him, and not have any opinions that contradict anything about said guy. Here recently this guy is around a lot which isn't a huge problem but he's around literally almost everyday. And when we say to our mom that it's kinda annoying, we are being "disrespectful, ungrateful, life ruining cunts". She also says that sense we are here kids that we aren't allowed to voice any of our opinions. Yet while she is shoving ours down into the ground, she is shouting hers and embedding them into our minds. More specifically mine because I'm the only one who tells mom how it is. Honestly the only reason I'm staying until I'm 18 is because I can't have my dog in the children's home. I don't want to be apart of a family where everything I say is invalid and overlooked. I don't want to be in a family where I'm not even looked at as a human but as a mindless, robotic slave. I can't just sit and await every command that a women who is 49 years old can and should do on her own, while my 16 year old self can do everything she asks of us on my own. Like make a pot of coffee, make a sandwich, or my personal favorite do her laundry. I can't wait till I'm 18 and can be free to do the things I do for not only myself but without a women more than twice my age to take care of as if she was the child. If I ever have children they will come before everyone else, they will be made valid, and be important and loved and not feel like they are absolutely nothing.
YOU ARE READING
My Journal
RandomA new journal about things going on in my life. That I prefer if you read you don't talk about behind my back like a bitch because I know people from my school read this... kinda... maybe... I don't know.
