Venice/How To Save A Life (Death Note Fanfiction)

Chapter 19 Meeting

Yer a human thing

Who yah think that you're foolin"

Yer not foolin", not foolin' me

Yer a human thing

Yer so busy frontin'

Confusin" courage and acting

"You know what I find special?" I muttered.

"hm?"

"Suicide." He nearly dropped the kettle while he made me a cup of coffee.

"It literally taking your own life. What is so terrible that makes people do that?"

"Well..Life is." He answered adding a sugar cube. I bit my lip and scratched the dirt from under my nails.

"Do you believe the police reports?" I asked so carefully.

"No. Lucille wouldn't kill herself and and several others. That's just too sinister of a thought for a mother." He placed himself over me holding the cup in both hands. He looked at me with a concentrated look. I was used to the habit he had of calling her Lucille. Sometimes when I was mad I called her that in my head knowing that she didn't like it. But coming from him. "It was only a 10% chance." The toast on my plate was lightly burned. Lyon liked to smear butter and honey over it so his breakfast would be tasteful. I made a habit of doing that too. Smearing butter and honey over burned toast. Could be song lyrics.

That morning Lyon played that song over and over because I ONCE mentioned it makes me smile. He was wired up that Lucille was gone too. We danced ate more burned toast and drank champagne at 7 in the morning.

Just the perfect way to celebrate griefing. That evening I called my doctor if I could stay home for another week.

XXXX

Downstaires by the reception was a piano. Next to the elevators and behind the waiting area. L suggested I'd play whenever I wanted to when we just arrived at the new hotel. It's been a few days. I found a routine into getting out of bed, washing my face with baby wipes, brushing my teeth two times in a row and spray alittle to much deodorant.

Something told me that L did find it bothersome that I smoked. I never cared if someone thought I smelled like cigarettes but not only did that change, I've been overthinking things. Like what I was going to do when the Kira case is over. It's been proven that simply dying is going to take me back. But what if I don't want to stay in this world?

And just asking someone for advice is impossible. I'd either be called insane or send to a mental hospital. That has a name, doesn't it? Delusional disorder or something? That's what one those books said. I started book two. It's been distracting me but I truely wished I could read them outside. I needed to be out again because living like Ryuzaki is impossible for me. I should be atleast take a fresh nose. What is holding me back? It's like I don't feel like doing anything anymore. But I have to keep positive. So I went upstaires with a certain purpose but once I got upstaires L called me.

"Siena?" He said with a bored tone.

"Yes?"

"You've had a message." He held the phone up between two fingers over his shoulder. On the coffee table stood four empty cups which made me wonder if he he actually held a break in that time. I unlocked my screen and saw that the number that messaged me was unknown. I hummed.

Unknown: 'Nice shoes.' I flexed my eyebrows thinking it was just some joke or someone texting the wrong person.

Me: 'Who is this?' I lay my phone for a second but already got a reply.