Dear god please hear me tonight I need so much advice to live my life right when I wake up some mornings to face the day that depression and sadness so hard to push away. I cry to myself alot cause I think to myself wondering if anyone would care. I go to sleep sometimes hoping to wake up in a different place but when I wake I am in the same place (my own place). Its mine but deep in my heart I know its a hole with four walls, windows, and a roof but not a home. Sometimes I lay back and think "how will I die?"... by a bullet wound or a knife in my side. Hopefully old and deep in my sleep but will anybody be there to see or to show they care. I can say a few but maybe only god will know how I really try my hardest to live the best I can with kids but people see what I cant do or what im not doing. Lowering my spirit, my pride, my self-esteem but what people dont realize is that it doesnt help at all. It just makes me wanna fall and curl up in a ball... be low like they like but thats not going to happen you see, cause im a big bird flying stronger and farther then before. Now is my time to show all those people that I can take a stand. Some will have different reactions but I dont care. Im putting my foot down and not letting it get to me. Those people that brought me down are now my biggest supporters... and I like to keep it that way.
