It all started when I was a little girl. About five years old. My big brother died. I didn't understand at the time, but later on down the road I started to understanding. I didn't know what to do with myself. I then started hearing stories about how and where. My big brother William dies in the army on April sixth 2002, two days after my birthday. I began to shut down mentally and physically. My mom would tell me little things about him each and everyday. I would start crying only because he was the best brother a little ogirl could ever ask for. I started asking myself "why?" "Why would this happen to me?" Then I said "you know what?" "I'm done with life!"
Then it all started......
We ended up moving to California. My mom thought it would be a great start for us to get. It was now the year of 2011. I was is sixth grade and attending Thomas Jefferson middle school.
Then the unthinkable happened.....
I got into a car accident and suffered a very bad injury. I was hospitalized for over two weeks. I was studering an confused. I began to start understanding then..... My mom and dad got a divorce. I remember the yelling and sleepless nights. I couldn't take it anymore so......I ran away!
I planned it for over a month, after my dad left. Then in August 17, 2011 I did it. It was 1:00 in the morning. I took the screen out if the window and jumped, grabbing all the things i needed to keep me safe from harm. I ran and ran, as far as I could. I crossed highways roads intersections and even police stations. I remember falling and waking up t police sirens. They they took me to women's and children's hospital. Two days after I checked in, they sent me to cupc (California university phyciatric center). I began struggling with cutting and not eating. I became a very angry little girl. I eventually got out of that he'll hole and came home on October 21st, 2012. I built this very good bond with my mom. We did everything together. I thought Mabe this could get better!
I started 7th grade and began to get bullied for my size and being short. I decided to work out and run. While I was doing that I slowly decided to stop eating. I went without eating for a long period if time. But still I was being bullied. I didn't know what to do anymore. I started sitting alone at lunch and anywhere without a lot if people. I then started sitting only with my very best friend. Her name was eyanna white. We shared the same kind if struggles. So it was easy for me to talk to her. She was always trying to get me to eat, but I always refused. I started getting very sick, weighing only 94 pounds. My friend eyanna started struggling also but even worse than I was. She started talking to me about ending her life. I started crying and telling her "NO" "PLEASE NO!"
I then started texting her every night and one night she just didn't answer. I called, emailed, kiked and still no answer. the next thing you know I'm running down to her house. While in running I see and hear fire trucks ambulances and cop cCarson in tears at this point. I walk in and her mom comes running to me and holds me in her arms and says alex....... "Eyanna's gone!" I yell "NO SHE'S NOT!" your lying and I start crying histerically. my life was never the same. being without my best friend I decided I was done. I then started cutting and not eating and life went down hill. I remember saying "life can't get any worse" and it did.............
i began cutting agein and i was just foing horable. i felt like i just wanted to die. i ran away that same night an i fell and i remember waking up in the ER i was yeling and screaming leave me alone let me die plz im baging you to let me die ( crying ).
my dad ended up coming back to get his stuff and leaving agein i started crying so much. i wish he never left in the first place
( present day)
two years down the rode i am now in 8th grade living the life. im full on gay and just got out of a relationship. her name was hope and im trying tonget over her and i have im now single and very happy yeah i have my ups and downs i scream and punch stuff some times. but im doing good. my cussin died the weekened of my birthday and i handled it okay i went and took a bat to the tree. im hurt and always will be, untill i find that perfect someone who is ment to he with me forever.im still looking and one day i will find her.
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well thats it im sorr if its to short or if it was too much but theres more and im still going through crap thats hard but im stying strong thx for reading vote pm me comment all is okay but thx agein more stories coming
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