LEXA:
I could feel the bullets flying past my body, my warriors falling all around me. These Mountain Men with their guns, so fearful of what we would do to them if they no longer had their automatic weapons. Sword to sword on the battlefield, we would decimate them. Their lack of strength would become a stark reality. We'd made it to the ridge and confronted these bringers of death. They shot down my warriors one by one, hiding in the shadows without honour. Never retreating, never surrendering we pushed forward and began to cut them down. Blood ran over the land as we gained control over our enemy.
It was the voice of one man that halted the battle, a man by the name of Emerson. "CEASE FIRE!" He called out, the Mountain Men obeyed and stopped the onslaught. At first I thought it was their surrender, I was wrong. This Mountain Man had an offer for me, a difficult decision I had to make in the heat of battle. He would release all of my people safely if we withdrew our army from their gates. The deal did not include any members of Skaikru.
My heart sank, faced with this dilemma. All of my warriors stood looking to me for a decision. These men and women of The Twelve Clans, their eyes burning into me. I was their Commander, the one person that was meant to exude strength above all else and the one that was destined to protect them and keep them safe. Yet, my heart wavered, my feelings for Clarke would not allow me to make this decision lightly. I could no longer deny I had fallen for her. My feelings had overwhelmed me, my judgement completely clouded by the beating of my heart. It was necessity that drove me to make the choice I did that night. In my mind I struggled to find an alternative way, but I was Commander and I had a duty to protect my people. I had no choice but to take the deal, even though it broke my heart. I was betraying the girl I admired and respected, but above all else, the girl I loved. I was a fool to think this life would ever allow my heart to be happy, a fool to once again have fallen in love.
CLARKE:
Missing Scenes 10: Head & Heart Pt 2.
I stood for sometime outside that foreboding door to Mount Weather, the sound of it slamming shut echoed in my head. I was unable to process what had happened. We were so close to getting our people back, so near to ending the ruthlessness of the Mountain Men, yet she left me there. How else could I veiw this other than a betrayal. My people, my friends had become nothing but a bargaining chip, left to be tortured and ultimately to die. How could I process that? How could she do that? I thought I knew her, that we'd begun to find a balance between our people and with each other. I never thought for one second things would end this way.
The image of Lexa walking away from me filled my head. I was angry, hurt, tears welled in my eyes. She always spoke of honour, but how was this the actions of an honourable warrior? Maybe I was wrong to think we could walk the same path, foolish to let her into my heart. Love is a strange beast, it can be the most beautiful feeling in the world or the most hurtful demon that plagues your senses.
I felt despair creeping into my heart, for my people still trapped in the mountain and selfishly for myself. I allowed my feelings for Lexa to become so prevalent and now my heart was shattered. I would have followed her into battle, into the eye of the storm and beyond. All that remained was betrayal and heartache. I'm not sure if our paths would ever cross again in this life or how I would feel seeing her again. I know I have forgiveness in my nature, but for now I'm not sure if or how it could extend to The Commander of the twelve clans, to the girl I had began to fall for, the girl I called Lexa.
