Daughter of Death

The Beginning

"Do it." The man behind her whispered as he put the cold metallic object in my hand. He aligned my fingers with the base but leading my pointer finger to wrap around the trigger. Tears streamed down my face as the hooded person seated in front of me began to scream and struggle.

"I can't...I can't kill an innocent person." My voice came our shaky and weak causing the man behind me to growl.

"Either you or him. Your choice girly." I felt the barrel of the man's own gun press into the back of my head as he clicked the safety off. "5...4...3..." He began to count down and I could hear the smile in his voice; almost if he enjoyed my fear as I began to shake.

My salty tears still flowing down my face, I could taste them as I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry," I whispered only just loud enough for my hooded victim to hear. The hooded figure began to struggle more as their muffled screams became louder and louder until...BANG! The screaming stopped. The gun clattered to the floor. I let out a sigh of relief as the presence of the man's gun was removed from my head.

The man chuckled, "See that wasn't so hard, was it? Now come on someone will be sent to clean up this mess. We don't want to be late for dinner you know how your mother gets." I followed him outside still shaking, still in shock from what I had just done. The man wrapped is arm around my shoulders. A gesture of fatherly affection that should have comforted me, but instead only sent a shiver down my spine. This was not the man that had raised me. The man who had wiped away my tears when I scraped my knee and read me bedtime stories. This was a monster wearing his face. "I'm so proud of you, angelito." He says opening the door; the bright light of the sun assaulted my eyes as we exited the dark garage and headed toward the house. Looking up at his face the sinister smile had been replaced by the same sincere smile that had been given to me on so many other occasions. How could he be proud? I killed someone. An innocent person. Whatever happened to the "Thou shalt not kill" line I had always heard in the church Father had forced me to spend every Sunday I could remember in.

"There you two are. Did you have a good day?" Mother called. The aroma of chicken parmesan that would normally have my mouth watering had no effect on my desensitized state. I felt the presence of the monster leave as I assumed he went to wash up for the meal to come. My sweet Mother. Maybe she could help me get away from this madness. "Mia bella, are you alright? You look quite pale." Mother asked concern written upon her face, but before I could answer he was back.

"Our little girl became an adult in the family today, my love." Father wrapped his arms around Mother with a proud smile sitting upon his face. Much to my disbelief Mother scooped me up in her arms and kissed me on the head.

"Oh! My little girl is growing up. So, how was it? How did you do?" My mother's approval of the evil I endured seemed to be my breaking point. I pushed away from her and stumbled back as I was released from her grasp.

"You knew? You knew what he was going to do and you let him do it anyway?" I shouted in disbelief. "He put a gun to my head and threatened to kill me! Then forced me to kill a human being. An innocent person who had done nothing to deserve his life being stripped from him." My voice becoming louder and louder with each word. I began to shake, so afraid of the people standing in front of me.

Father slammed his hand on the counter-top and let out a dark laugh. "That man was anything but innocent, Angelito." The dark look from the garage came back to his face. "That 'innocent man' as you would call him..." He spat the words out as if they were coated in poison. "...had more sins than you or I combined." Father slowly began walking toward me; for every step he took toward me I took one back until I hit the wall. My eyes squeezed shut as I trembled waiting for whatever this monster in front of me was about to do; two fingers softly force my chin up. "Look at me." My trembling became worse as my eyes remained defiantly shut. "Do not make me ask again, Angelito." Afraid of what would come from my continued defiance my eyes fluttered open. "We do not kill the innocent. It is the innocent we kill for. We protect those who cannot or choose not to protect themselves." With that he let go of my chin and walked away. As soon as he was out of the room my trembling legs finally gave out and I began to slide down the wall until I hit the floor.

Soft arms wrapped around me as tears flooded my vision. "It's alright, little one." Mother rocked me slightly humming a soft lullaby. How could this be the same woman who was just praising me for taking a human life. The same woman who had taught me to obey the laws of both man and God. "You must accept this. It is who you are. It is who you have always been supposed to become." She whispered into my ear.

"A killer?" My voice cracked and I leaned into her. "I am supposed to be a killer?" I shook my head still unable to accept the facts put in front of me. "God, forgive me." I whispered as I clutched the cross around my neck. It was slick to the touch but I refused to look down knowing that my fingers would be covered in the evidence of my crime.

"You aren't a killer, little one. You are a protector. Do not fear it. Embrace it." She kissed my cheek and continued to hum. How could I embrace something that I was taught that was so fundamentally wrong? Yet I knew I couldn't turn away from my family, for family is everything. If you do not have family, either blood or chosen, how could you continue to live? Questions began to race around in my head. How could my family force this upon me? How could they force me to become like monsters they are; monsters who kill with no regard for human life. How could they call themselves protectors? Protectors of what? Protectors do not encourage harm much less preform the harm themselves. How could they still step into a church after what they had admitted they had done.

"Sweetheart, I know this is a lot to put on someone so young. But you have to understand your father and I want to make sure that you are prepared for what this world and your life has to offer. I wanted it to be your choice but unfortunately you are the only child that we were blessed with. Your father's family has held the burden of being this town's protectors for many generations and it is unfortunately become your burden as well." Mother's voice quivered a little as she held me close almost as if protecting me from something that was becoming clear was not a choice for either of us.

I remained quiet still playing with the cross around my neck as I let everything sink in now that my mind was being allowed to process everything that had happen. My father was an only child too, did he not have a choice either? Was he forced in the same barbaric was as I? As if he could hear my thoughts my father's heavy footsteps could be heard getting closer and closer to the kitchen before suddenly stopping at the entry way. Looking away from my mother I looked toward the man who had forced me into this experience. Gone was the monster with the sadistic smile who enjoyed watching me murder. Gone was the cold faced man I was convinced was an imposter to my father. In his place was a solemn man with nothing but pain in his eyes. A man who wanted to be in this life probably as much as myself.

At that moment I made my decision but I knew that it would change my life and views forever, for I could not be two things at once. If I chose to protect but I could not be protected any longer. My hand stopped playing with the cross necklace and pulled it from my neck before standing up and taking the agonizing steps toward the man I loved and hated with all my might. I looked from the necklace to him and back to the necklace for what seemed like forever before I finally let out a long sigh. Closing my eyes I crossed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him. My tears covered his shirt as I let the chain holding the cross charm fall to the floor only to pull my father closer.