calm down // josh dun

f o u r t e e n

--Josh's P.O.V--

"So Declan Gray kissed you?" Tyler asked as I sat across from him and Jenna in the Steak & Shake booth. "I'm just trying to make sure I'm hearing this right."

I nodded. "Yes, he kissed me and afterwards, he just flipped out and told me to leave. Do you think I did something wrong?"

Jenna shook her head. "You didn't do anything wrong, Josh. I think Declan finds it really hard to open up to anybody and by kissing you, he opened up a major door. I think he's afraid of what he did."

"I just don't even know what to do," I said, running my hands through my hair. "Should I go and try to talk to him?"

"I think you should let him cool down for the night. You can try and talk to him tomorrow once he's thinking clearly." Jenna sighed. "I feel bad that I can't give better advice."

I quickly shook my head. "No, no, Jenna. You give perfect advice. I should let him calm down because I've seen the stuff he does when he isn't thinking clearly."

We sat in silence for a moment before Tyler cleared his throat. "So, um, are we ready to order?"

•••

"Okay, so what you are telling me is that I need to go home straight after school and watch this Japanese cartoon called Yuri on Ice?" Jenna asked as we walked to school the next morning.

"One, it's called anime, not a Japanese cartoon, and two, you absolutely need to watch it. It is literally so good. It's about figure skating and I know you like figure skating, so please please watch it."

Jenna playfully rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll watch it, but if I hate it, I won't let you hear the end of it."

Her words made me laugh. Jenna almost always knew how to improve my mood even when she didn't know that she was doing it. I was extremely worried over the whole Declan situation.

I wanted to talk to him about it, but I didn't even know if that would be a good decision. Maybe it would be better if we pretended it didn't happen. I had no idea what to do.

Jenna's voice jolted me out of my thoughts. "Hey, Josh, would you mind if I asked you a really personal question?"

"Just ask."

"Are you gay?"

That was definitely not the question I was expecting her to ask. My face wore a look of surprise, but I quickly masked it, so I wouldn't make Jenna upset over asking the question in the first place.

I scratched the back of my head. "Um, I don't know. I'm straight, I guess."

"I was just wondering because like you have ever been interested in any of the girls at Oakville and I know for a fact that Ezgi likes you a lot. The only person you have truly taken a liking to is Declan Gray and he's a boy, so I didn't know if you were gay."

Jenna made a valid point. Was I gay or maybe even bisexual? Sexuality was something I hadn't put much thought in. I really wanted nothing to do with dating. I just wanted to cruise through school and graduate as soon as possible.

However, when Declan kissed me, I had mixed feelings about it. It was strange, but I didn't really want to push him away. I was just too shocked to kiss back.

Jenna and I climbed the steps up to the entrance to the high school and as soon as we walked in I noticed that pretty much everyone had a copy of the school newspaper in their hands.

"Oh, Josh, I forgot that your article got published in the school newspaper today. It must be really good since everyone is absorbed in it."

"I don't think all the students are absorbed in my article about how teachers give us so much work that we have mental breakdowns," I replied as I followed Jenna to her locker.

"Have faith in yourself, Josh. I bet your article was really good. I'll pick up a copy after first period and I'll be sure to read it and tell you how fantastic it is."

The blonde bent her head down to center in her locker combination and when she looked up, her face took on a hint of nervousness.

Jenna gestured down the hallway. "I think someone needs to talk to you."

I turned my head to see Declan Gray, storming towards me, a copy of the school newspaper in his hand. I was surprised to see that he was dressed in a button-down plaid shirt and not his varsity jacket.

When Declan reached me, I was expected him to apologize for his actions the night before or tell me that his actions were completely stupid, but I was extremely wrong.

"What is wrong with you?" Declan growled, shoving me against my locker, holding a copy of the school newspaper up to my face.

My eyes took a while to focus before I could make out the bold lettering on the front page, but when I finally did, I couldn't help but gasp.

All-Star Hockey Player Born A Girl?
Has Declan Gray been lying to everyone?
By Josh Dun

"How could you do this?" He asked me. "When you said that you had a big journalism assignment due, I never expected it to be this."

All his eyes held was anger. I didn't see any sign of the Declan Gray that I knew. The Declan Gray that just wanted to be accepted into the world.

I opened my mouth and then closed it again, trying to find the right thing to say. "Declan, I didn't do this. This isn't my article. I didn't write that. You know for a fact that I didn't. I would never do that to you."

Declan scoffed. "Well, thanks to you, parents are calling the school, demanding me to be removed from the hockey team because I could endanger their sons by being in the locker room. Thanks for that."

By now, we were drawing a crowd. Everyone was watching us, wanting to know what was going on. Some people were even taking videos.

I sighed, trying to get the younger boy to listen to reason. "Declan, I'm so sorry. I didn't write that. You have to believe me. All the newspapers were printed the morning. Someone must have broken into the journalism room and changed everything that I had wrote originally last night."

Declan Gray shook his head. "We will never be friends. Ever," he said, his voice revealing no emotion as he met my eyes. It was like he flipped a switch on his emotions. "Maybe Parker was right. I should have never opened myself up to you. Everything was perfectly fine until you showed up here."

The shorter boy pushed past me with his shoulder, but I quickly grabbed onto his arm, making him stop. "Declan, wait, please."

He jerked his arm away from my grasp with a grunt. "Never talk to me again, Josh. I'm done."

He ran the newspaper at my feet before turning around once again.

"Declan, please."

"Fuck you Joshua."

A/N; sorry for the slow updates. i'm trying to finish up apple shampoo. you guys should check that out if you haven't already.

-L.A