Living a Fantasy

Losing Hope

Play the song whenever, just thought it was a nice touch...

Alexis POV

"beep........beep........beep.......beep....beep...beep..beep beep beep beep beep"

"Yes well like I said she was jus- Hey look! She's coming through!, Mrs lavanda come quick she's waking up! somebody get the nurse. Hey there, come on, It's me, don't give up, I'm here look at me I'm here, Don't give up on me, not now you've come so far, come on just open your eyes, look at me, I'm right here, come on, please!"

My mind woke up to the sound of a familiar voice shouting, I had no idea where I was or what had happened and for a moment I forgot who I was. I felt a weight on my hand, that's when I realized that it was someone's hand, they were holding mine and gently squeezing now and again. It was comforting, I was almost relaxed till I felt an incredible pain shoot down my entire body and then another and another. I felt my eyebrows furrow from the pain, and my body tremble, the pain shooting from my head down to my toes, making me shiver and try to clench my fingers into fists, but I had no control over my movements.

The hand belonged to the same person who was shouting, who is now whispering something, but I can't hear them through the banging in my head. Suddenly their hand slipped out of my own and I heard an unfamiliar voice calling my name loudly whilst instructing me to keep breathing and to try and keep my body still.

Suddenly there was a plastic mask on my face and I felt my breathing change, as if I were breathing out of an inhaler. I could hear my breathing very loudly, and the mask was forcing me to take in deep breaths of what didn't feel like oxygen. I could hear someone weeping nearby and all I wanted to do was open my eyes, all I wanted to do was see who held on to my hand and spoke to me. All I wanted to do was know who caught me. All I wanted was to be able to say thank you. But I couldn't. My body wouldn't let me, it refused to move on my command and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't open my eyes, I just couldn't control myself. It felt like I was a puppet, not being able to move unless someone allowed me to, never knowing how my body would react, never knowing what my body would do until it had already started.

I had never felt anything like this before, and I hated it. I hated that I couldn't control my movements. I hated that I couldn't squeeze their hand back. I hated that I couldn't tell them I was trying, I was trying to wake up, trying to see them, trying to just open my eyes and look at them.

It felt like I was inside of a body that would never be able to move, that I would never be able to get out of, as if I was living inside of a dead body.

I could hear wheels against a smooth floor as I felt my body swerve, along with the bed I was laying upon. There was a faint, panicking voice in the background, calling words I couldn't understand and what seemed like code to my tired ears.

Before I knew what was happening the mask was replaced on my face and my breathing was echoing around me as the pain began to fade away. The feeling of control was returning to my body as the voices around me became clearer and clearer. I could move my toes slightly and it was as if I was saying my first word, or taking my first step, but all for the second time. The hand was replaced on my hand and once again the same familiar voice was calling my name softly and whispering for me to wake up, as if I had to wake up from a deep slumber, it was warming, welcoming like a deep hug. All I wanted to do was open my eyes and smile sweetly, to see this familiar face and match their voice.

I could hear it in their voice, slowly the longer it took me to move my body, the more they were losing hope. Losing faith that I would ever wake up, but they don't know I'm already awake, I'm waiting for myself too.

My senses were now returning as well, I could feel my dry throat, my cold toes, my icy fingers intertwined with someone's warm hand. I could hear whispering around me and muffled voices from outside a room. I could smell a slight aroma of coffee and, perhaps salt? The only thing I could taste was my own saliva, oh god I hope I haven't been dribbling, I tried to bring my hand to my face in an attempt to check if I had dribbled. But I still didn't have perfect control over my body and all I could manage was a week tremble from my fingertips. Then I heard the person sitting by my side gasp and squeeze my hand tightly. I could almost feel the hope returning to their body, their voice was soft but louder than before, saying,