At My Kitchen Sink

Nobody Dreams When They Blink

Oh no.

It's only fifth period.

English. Worst class ever. I pull out my journal. I've been working on a new one. I'm only at the beginning.

Nobody thinks what I think
Nobody dreams when they blink
Think things on the brink of blasphemy
I'm my own shrink
Think things are after me

I don't know any words that rhyme with blasphemy.

Nothing

I ask Ms. Ryan to use the bathroom.

I lock myself in a stall and start scratching my arms. I don't want to do this anymore. I go harder and harder, long enough for a welcome sight to appear: blood.

Here it comes. Flowing down my arms. I hold them over the toilet so that nothing drips on the floor. That would be a catastrophe. Catastrophe! Blasphemy! I wipe my arms with toilet paper. I roll my sleeves down and walk out of the stall.

Another boy is walking in. I am captured my the sight of him. I always thought that dyed hair and piercings were scary, but he seemed..... Kind. Something in his deep, brown eyes made me feel safe.

I didn't want him to think I was gross, so I pulled up my sleeves to wash my hands.

Oh no!

Please don't let him have seen that....

I forgot.

Oh no no no

I yank my sleeves down and try to run, but he grabs my wrist. Ah! Oh that hurt!

"Are you okay? Let me see your arms."

I felt.... Compelled by him. I obeyed. Nobody has ever seen my self harm before. My breaths became fast and shallow. He put his arm around me.

"Hey, hey. Calm down. My name is Josh. I've seen you before. Tyler, is it?"

I only nodded.

"Do you need help, Tyler?"

"Do you want to talk about anything? You can trust me. I promise."

The bell rang. I was snapped from my trance. I screamed and fled, pulling down my sleeves. Where to go? There were too many people. Somebody knew now. My journal! It was still in Ms. Ryan's class! No! I rushed to her classroom. I grabbed my journal and fled to the lunchroom.

Authors Note

I think I might've done ok on this one. Please no hateful comments. I'm really trying hard.