Sick

Chapter one

KEITH'S POV
Sweat was pouring down my back as I swung my sword towards Shiro. I was so ready for this training session to be over. I didn't want to fight Shiro, but when Allura tells you to do something, you do it. His arm was glowing purple as he easily smacked the bayard out of my hands. He raised his eyebrow. "You okay?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired, that's all. " He smiled in sympathy. "I understand. Maybe it's time to stop for today?" He called up hopefully to the ceiling. Allura's voice came down from the loud speakers that were implanted in the ceiling. "I suppose. But I hope you know that Zarkon won't just just give you a break whenever you're 'tired'. " Shiro nodded, and we both walked out the halls together. The other members of the team (who had been sparring on the other side of the training deck) followed us, worn out by the rigorous exercise. "So, Shiro-" Lance started to say.
"Not right now Lance," Shiro cut him off. Lance pursed his lips in annoyance. "But-" Lance tried again. Shiro sighed deeply. "Look, Lance, I know it might seem a little rude, but right now I need to think. Zarkon isn't an easy opponent. Right now I need to relax and talk to Allura. Okay?" I looked back at Lance. He seemed frustrated. I guess I would too, if I was in his position. Shiro doesn't usually snap like that. The last time he did that was Slav, but he had gotten over that quickly. Lance's eyes were downcast. "Of course, I'm sorry. " Shiro walked down the hall, probably going to take a shower. Lance headed off in the other direction, with Hunk and Pidge following behind like the dutiful friends they are. Sometimes I wish that I had friends that would follow me anywhere I went when I was feeling down... Was I jealous of Lance? I panicked as I thought of the implications of that sentence. No, I decided. I wasn't. I had to repeat it in my head a couple of times. I'm not jealous of Lance. I'm not jealous of Lance. I shrugged, trying to pretend it didn't matter. My eyebrows furrowed, trying to get a hold on myself. I mean, I had Shiro, didn't I? But he was more of a father figure, the big brother I never had. He was more likely to patronize me and be hard on me than cuddle up and watch a movie. It was then I remembered where I was, so I headed off down the hall to my room. I tried to shove the emotions down, I mean, who even needs emotions? Certainly not me...I don't even believe myself while I'm saying it. I pass Lance's room as I try and get to mine. I can hear angry ranting in there. "I mean, yeah! He's the leader! And he does deserve breaks every once and a while! But so do we! Sometimes we need questions answered! And I'm tired of being ignored just because I'm not Keith or I'm not a part of his personal agenda!" Hunk And Pidge murmur their agreement. My mind was officially blown. Here I was, thinking about how I was jealous of Lance, but was it possible that everyone else was jealous of me? The very idea was absurd. Why would anyone have a reason to be jealous of me? I'm more lonely than anyone on this ship, with only Red to keep me company. Sometimes it might seem like Shiro likes me more than others, but he really doesn't. In all honesty, he probably likes Pidge more than anyone else. I opened the door to my room, tired of all the drama. I sat on my bed for a while, before getting up and taking a quick rinse. Until a quick rinse turned into me sulking in the shower for an hour. I finally realized that before long I would use up all the water on the ship. I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body. I stared at myself in the reflection of my knife. Could I , Keith Kogane, be a person people were jealous of? If only they knew. I mean, here I am in a circle of humans and Alteans, just trying to act normal. But I really can't, can I ? Suddenly, in a rush, all the emotions ran out of me. I felt nothing except for a need to sleep. I sighed and lie down on my bed, trying to feel the emotions that had so easily dried up. But they were gone. Probably for another day or so. Allura's voice came over the intercom system. "Can Shiro, Pidge, and Hunk please come to the main engine room, please?" Just them. I'd bet it was a technological problem. I rolled over in my bed and pressed my face into the cool side of the pillow. I turned over and stared blankly at the wall. Lance was the only one here now, I'd bet. I wonder if he'd hear me if I screamed repeatedly in my pillow. I concluded he probably would, and decided not to. I heard my door whoosh open, and my head turned around so fast it could have broken. My room was my sanctuary, and he who intrudes upon it has no choice but to die. Lance stood at the door. My fury quickly abated, but for what reason I didn't know. He stood there awkwardly. "Can I come in?" He asked. Startled by the question, I took a while to answer. "Uh- sure!" I stuttered. I was mentally pounding myself in the head. Why??? Why did I say that??!?!?? Meanwhile, he sat on the foot of my bed. "So," he started. I was still trying to go through all the reasons why he might be here in my head. Needed help with something? Wanted to borrow something? Didn't know where Coran was? "Can I ask you something?" He asked.
"Uh, I mean, sure," I said quietly. He was staring me in the eye. "This is kind of an awkward question,but.." His face was beet red. "Why does Shiro like you so much?" He finally blurted out. I was taken aback. Out of all the topics... I guess I really did seem like the favorite after all. "He, uh, actually doesn't like me that much," I confessed. "In fact, I'd actually say that he likes Pidge more."
Lance nodded. "Yeah, he probably does. But he listens to you though. He never listens to me. He gives me the bare minimum. And I hate myself for wanting more." He paused. "I'm not saying he's a bad guy, he's fantastic. But sometimes, I mean, you gotta throw a dog a bone, right?" I have no idea what the heck that means. I agree with him anyways, because I was following him until that terrible analogy. He rocks back and forth on the bed. " I just... don't know what to do. I want more, but I also don't, you know?" To be honest, this was the longest time I had ever had eye contact with someone. After a while, it gets kind of hard. I looked down at the bed. "Look, Lance, I have no idea how to get him to like you. I think he already does. But I have no idea how to get him to respect your opinion. He barely even respects mine." Lance nodded. We sat in an uncomfortable silence. He finally got up of the bed. He stretched leisurely. "Well, I've got to go. Do. Some stuff. Uh, see you later Keith." He jogged off to his room, hopefully reassured. Making him feel good felt... good. I was feeling all warm and tingly inside, and I felt like I could run a thousand miles. Wow. Is this what friendship is like? Now I can understand why people want friends so bad!