Breakdown (Oneshot)

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(I recommend watching from 1:30)
As she finally entered her room, she fell down to the floor. „are you okay?“ she heard her mother. „yes, everything's alright“ „I'll go to the store, bye“ her mother responded and left the house. She couldn't take it anymore and bursted out in crying. She felt as if she couldn't breathe. All these emotions overcame her. Why?, she asked herself again and again. Laying at the floor, she just couldn't stop crying. The pictures inside her head were killing her. She tried to scream, but nothing came out of her mouth. „I trusted you“, she wispered.
„I thought i would mean something to you.“ the sadness slowly got replaced by anger. She stood up and walked to her bed. „I hate you“, she screamed and her voice started breaking again. She let herself fall onto the bed and buried her face in the pillow. She didn't know how she could take all this. Everyday she told herself, that she is strong, independent and that she could survive this, but in this moment she felt so weak and helpless. She felt as if every day was a fight. A fight against everyone, but especially a fight against herself! She turned to the side and started to sob again. She felt as if she suffocated. And she wanted to.
Suddenly the door bell rang.
She wiped away the tears and swallowed all the feelings. She went downstairs, sat on a happy smile and opened the door. She saw a person she didn't expected. „I missed you“ she said and hugged the girl on the other side of the door. A girl, who meant so much to her. Who had gone through so many things with her. „Come in“ she said and both girls entered the house. They talked about many things and did crazy stuff. They spent a few wonderful hours together. She just felt happy. But then the girl had to go and suddenly everything came back.  Once again she asked herself if the girl really liked her. Once again she said to herself that she annoyed everyone and that everybody hated her. She was caught up in all the doubts. And then she looked around in the house. She didn't know, what to do. She just felt empty.
Again, she started to feel tears streaming down her face and again she felt as if she couldn't breathe. And again she ran in her chamber and turned the music on. She felt a desire coming up inside her. She knew that it would be wrong and that she would regret it later but she ignored all her thoughts and just followed this one wish.