Anxiety and fear speech

Anxiety and fear

Anxiety, many know what it is but they've never really felt it.
Anxiety to me is, being afraid to talk in front of people, scared that they will judge me, laugh at me. Getting up in front of a class is hard, it really is, having all eyes on me and society telling me to be perfect, one mess up and everyone will laugh, if you stutter once they'll know you're not perfect, they'll know you're not good at anything.

Fear, we all know what it is, afraid something's gonna happen, I can't talk in front of people because I'm afraid they're judging every word that comes out of my mouth, I'm afraid that I say one wrong word and everyone will hate me. I'm afraid I'll make a mistake and no one will ever forgive me. I'm afraid that everyone is always talking about me.

What can I say? But I'm scared, I'm scared that if I mess up the most important people in my life are going to hate me.
But I don't have a choice, I have to speak in front of people even when I don't want to, I can't walk around my whole life not saying anything, but maybe sometimes anxiety forces me to stay quite and keep to myself.

Again that's how anxiety and fear feels to me.
The exact definition of anxiety is
"A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome"
The exact definition of fear is
"An unpleasant emotion caused by belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat"

My friends and my family help get me through it, they tell me that no one talks about me, they won't laugh at me, they won't judge me. I want to believe it but I can't, it always feels like anxiety is slowly talking over the real me, the me that loves to meet new people, the me that's loves going to new places.
But when I try to meet knew I feel like that already hate me, even if they just met me.
And when I go places I feel like everyone is staring at me, wondering how I fit into society.