The French army stands guard over their borders circa. 1945, colourized.
"Okay...lets go through these." Matthew dumped the last of the books on the coffee table and took the joint that Lars had rolled for him. He picked one book off the top. "From the Start."
"The main character's parents were divorced and the children grew to resent them." Lars said, smoking it up with his usual poker face.
"Heartbeat."
"Orphan main character."
"He had a grandpa."
"Orphan."
"Like a Fairy Tale."
"Dead parent and loner child."
"Lost Souls."
"The parents weren't even there. It was like the kids raised themselves."
"Maple Warriors."
"Orphans whose adopted parents died...twice..."
"Mein Vögelchen."
"Orphans."
"One more night."
"Orphans with loner main character."
"Past lives."
"Orphans."
"Symphony for the lost?"
"I don't think there were any parents in that at all."
"The Darkness Beneath."
"Orphans."
"Okay but young like us-"
"Your main character was born from the IKEA gods. Face it Matthew, all your novels are just about you." Lars had a cocky smirk on his face. "It's the only legal way you can kill your dad as revenge for what he did to you."
"Do you think my fans noticed this?"
"It's hard to say."
"I need to make this book the complete opposite of me!"
"And how are you going to do that?" Lars asked.
"I..." Matthew thought for a moment. He couldn't change the parent situation since that was the entire plot. But he had the little sister thing now and the best friend.
What hadn't he done?
"Well?"
"I'm gonna put a sex scene in it."
"Of all the things-"
"Face it, Lars. I'm a huge virgin. This is perfect."
"I think that box in the corner would beg to differ."
"Do we have to reference the dildos in every chapter?"
"It's become an obligation. Who is your character going to have sex with?"
Matthew smiled the kind of evil smile only a writer could smile.
"I'll introduce a cute girl in the beginning and make it seem like he's going to fall for her but then he'll get drunk and have sex with his best friend."
"You want him to be an alcoholic too?"
"THATS PERFECT BECAUSE IM NOT ONE!"
"Use apostrophes, please." Lars sighed. "And speaking of Alcohol, there's a big party at one of my other client's houses. If you want to go with Gilbert, I can babysit Peter for the night. It'll be a great chance to socialize with other writers and network."
"I'll go if there's beer pong."
"I doubt there will be-"
"I will bring my ping pong balls."
"So you're going?"
"Yes."
"Alright."
"I'm gonna write the sex scene right now and then work on the rest leading up to it later, okay."
"You sure are excited to write porn."
"Sex sells."
"I sure hope so."
"It's gonna be kinky. Turns out his best friend is a major sub and likes getting choked."
"Uhm..."
"And the main character's absent father has caused him to have a daddy kink."
"This is going to be a great read. I can tell." Lars was white as a sheet, but then again he had been white to begin with.
"I know!"
"I'll leave you to it, then." He sighed. "Just make sure that first chapter is in my inbox tomorrow afternoon."
"Got it!" Matthew grinned, going back to his sins.Just to clarify:
My fanfic titles were being used as references. The content within Matthew's stories are not the same as what the fanfictions have.
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The Long Way Home
FanfictionMatthew hasn't seen his father in eleven years. But now Arthur wants him to babysit his younger brother while he goes off to London with his new husband. He doesn't know who this kid is and has never babysat before. But one thing is clear about t...