It wasn't supposed to happen this way. They were all looking at me. ME...tch...of all people. They looked at me expecting some hero, a leader, an answer to there problems, a lifeline. They were looking at me, searching for one......and I didn't have the heart to tell them that they wouldn't find any of that. How could I? I was the one who took there hero away, and was forced to replace him. They wouldn't find courage, or dignity, or honor, or any heroic ness. No, all they would find, is a poor kid from the wrong streets.
Sirens,and a gun shot were all I could here. The thud of his body hitting the ground. His pained ragged breath slowly fading only to be replaced by eerie silence.
Metallic. That was the smell that hung in the air. Mixing perfectly with gun powder and dread. The smell of death didn't come till later.
My mouth was dry and tasted sour. I could feel the urge to let the bile, that was slowly crawling up my troat, out onto the pavement in front of me. But that felt like it would only add salt to the bullet wound.
A wave of emotions rolled right over me as I fully understood what had just happened. Fear. Pain. Disgust. Disappointment. Regret. All worse then the last. But the worst were the last ones that came to me. Understanding and acceptance.
Red. That's all I could see. That, and an understanding look was able to be recognized in his eyes. Like he knew that none of it was planned. That he knew I was never planning to pull the trigger. That he knew where I came from, and that me trying to rob him had been necessary, to keep my family breathing for another day. But the look in his eyes also told me that I, no, WE both knew what I would have to do now. I would have to fill the dying shadow in front of me.
Now were here. Me standing in front of this crowd, knowing that i'm not who they want, who they need. They know it to, but are afraid of admitting it. We all know that it wasn't planned, but we were gonna make it work.
It wasn't supposed to happen this way, but maybe it was meant to. Different paths leading to the same out come.
