I dread going back
To where you spent your last conscious moments
Where you kept your secrets hidden in a wooden drawer
The secrets you never dared to open for anyone
The broken game boy you clinged to for a better memory
The arcade prizes I won with our crowning victory
The magnitude of ties I bought you, most you never wore but treasured every single one
The fragile love letters from your first love that you never could move on
The countless journals of self hatred and guilt
The sobriety coins screaming at you to stop
The picture of me looking up at you in disapproval
The mini vodka bottles you stashed to feel anything but guilt
The secrets were big and small
From the arcade coins we collected
To the blood soaked tissues stuffed in the back drawer to hide your demise
