All Grown Up

Chapter 1

I'm a 22 year old single mother still living with her parents. Glamorous I know. My son's father? Well I kicked him to the curb. He always made me feel I wasn't enough; asking me to do things I wasn't comfortable with in the bedroom, saying that he'd just 'go on tinder and find someone else' to do the stuff with him. Stupidly enough, I looked passed it and still tried to make things work. He never helped with my son either. When it was time to get him ready for bed, it was all on my to get him in his pajamas, brush his teeth, read him a book, tuck him in, and make sure he falls asleep while his father played video games. This happened all the time. Video games were always before my son.  He would only help if I yelled at him to help and only then would he reluctantly help. What really drove me over the edge was him never going to my family events. Ever. When my aunts and cousins would visit, he would board himself up in his room. He wouldn't even acknowledge them when they talked to him. Talk about rude. On Easter, we spent the whole morning with his family but when it was time to spend a few hours with my 90 year old grandma, he 'didn't feel like it.' That's when I realized that I was giving him so much but he was doing nothing. I couldn't let my son see this behavior and think it's okay. He was setting a horrible example and I didn't want my son to think it men have a pass to just play video games and avoid responsibility.

"I'm sick of this! We're supposed to be a family and you're never there! I can't keep telling my family that you're sick when they ask about you. I won't keep lying! I've had enough! It feels like you don't even care about me or my family or even our son!" I screamed at him when I got home that night. It was Christmas and I just got my son to bed alone.
"What are you talking about?" He looked at me as though it came out of no where.
"You're never there! You're always playing these stupid games. You dropped two grand on this ridiculous tv that we don't even need! I can't keep living like this." I said getting emotional. It was like everything I wanted to say for the past year was finally coming out.
"Jesus Noel calm down. I am here. I always hang out with Oliver." He was getting defensive and this usually made me back down but I didn't stop.
"Hang out?!? Evan he doesn't need someone to 'hang out' with! He needs a father that will take care of him and teach him right from wrong! He needs a role model! He needs someone that will be there with him for everything! You aren't doing your job as a father! You aren't doing your job as a boyfriend! This isn't working." I cried. It was the first time I stood up to him. I wasn't going to let him push this under the rug. How could I? This was about more than my happiness. This was about my son and what's best for him. Oliver comes first.
"Do you want to break up then?" He sounded paniced but a little relieved.
I stared at him. He wasn't even going to fight me on this. He wanted out just as much as I did. This made me even angrier. Why wasn't he going to try to prove me wrong?
"Get out! I don't want to see you anymore. Just fucking leave! Go!" I cried hot tears of anger and saddness. How could he just go to that and not want to talk about it?
He looked at me hard and then went to the dresser to grab some of his things. He muttered something at me and left.

But this was months ago. We ended our lease and I moved back home with my parents and Oliver. The courts worked out that I get him during the week while Evan has him on the weekends. It's rough but I try to make the most of the time I get with him. Luckily I'm studying to be a teacher so I'll get the summers to be with him.

I'm putting myself through college by working at the MLB park as a cashier in the gift shop during the summers. The pay is good and it's not everyday so thankfully I'm able to see my son more than I would with a conventional job. It's not hard work at all. Just smile and try to sell everything. It's easy really, you just have to put up with the drunk, obnoxious people when the game is over. It only gets busy before and after the game anyway so during the game it's empty. My co-workers and I usually catch up with each other when the store is empty.

My one good friend from work, Alex, knew about the big 'end all' fight I had with Evan. It was the beginning of the season and cold so there was no one at the game. "So how are you doing? I know it's been a couple of months since everything happend but that's still a big shock." Alex said while we were counting in new merchandise.
"I mean, I miss him sometimes because we were together for four years, but I don't get feelings for him anymore. Like, it's only when I see him when I'm dropping off Oli that I feel, I don't know, like a butterfly for him? It's just weird not sleeping next to someone or deciding on dinner or just hanging out in general I guess." I replied handling the jerseys. I never really thought about Evan that much. I realized that I stopped loving him a while ago and we just became two people who lived together.
"So you aren't opposed to meeting someone new then?" Alex looked at me like she had a plan. She always knows how to have a great time and is the perfect person to go out with. She will get everyone in the bar singing while still making you feel like the most important person in the world. We've only known each other for about two years, but I consider her one of my best friends.
"I'm not sure I'm ready for that. It's only been four months since everything happened. Plus guys our age only want to hook up. I don't want to be someone's fuck buddy. I'm a mom." I laughed thinking of the idea of sleeping with a random guy. I've only slept with two guys in my entire life. There's no way I would be able to keep it cool under those coniditions.
"It's not like I'm setting you up with your future husband! It's just a date. I'm causally seeing this guy and he needs a girl for his brother just to get him back into the dating game just like you. We'll go on a double date. You guys can be each other's practice for the real thing. Besides he's hot." She pleaded. I can tell she likes this guy. What do I have to lose? It's not like I'm trying to find the one right now. It'd only be what a few hours at the most? I could spend a few hours with some guy for free food and drinks. Besides, it's not like I do anything on the weekends now anyway. With Oliver with his dad, I've been pretty open.
"Alright fine. I'll go on one date with this guy but you have to stay with us the entire time. I'm a little rusty and I'm not sure what I'll do." I said making her promise to have my back.
"This will be so much fun! I promise you won't regret it. Even if this guy turns out to be a dud, you'll some nice food out of it! Oh and the guys aren't our age so you don't have to worry about being a booty call. They're just a little bit older."
"How much older is a little bit older?"
"I mean, they aren't old but they aren't in their 20s either... Are you still cool with that?"
I've never seen myself with an older guy but I also thought I found my one in Evan. "Yeah why not? I'm up for it."
"Great! We don't have a game next Saturday so I'll tell him to set it up then. Come over to my house and we'll get ready together!" Alex practically screamed.
"Ladies, how's inventory going?" Our manager, Karen, asked knowing we were talking more than working.
"Karen it's going great!" Alex beamed.
"Yeah." I smiled. For the first time I felt like something was worth getting exicted for.