Being Told You're Beautiful

Cheeeese.

Okay, soo. Dedicated to 24Hours_StillRising because she is awesomeness in a can with noodles, you should go read her series, and because she commented and voted. You could as well please! I know that it's slow moving and crappy and short but I've never really done a proper fanfiction before. I will get there, eventually: the sheep outside my window will not shut up. It is extremely annoying. Plead give feedback, and vote/ comment! DON'T BE A LEAF IF YOU CAN'T BE A TREE. Unless you like being a leaf. In that case, keep calm and carry on. That was a long A/N. Sowweee!

"Haaane! Hello! Yoohoo!" I dragged my head out of my beloved notebook, combing my inky, drawn on hands through my hair.

"Hmm?" I replied, not fully paying attention. I was venting out my feelings in a torrent of words onto the page, my thoughts and emotions becoming physical beings in front of my eyes. My hands always seemed to have a mind of their own when it comes to this particular notebook. And the best thing is - it won't spill any of my secrets. It's about the only thing I can fully trust.

'confusionlonlinesspainjoysufferinglovelongingcheesedrawntoyouhopinghopinghopinghopinghoping'

Yeah. Don't ask me where that came from. Especially the cheese part. Lyrics littered the pages. Especially 1D ones. What can I say? I'm a fan. Who couldn't be a fan of five incredibly attractive boys who can sing and can actually hold an intelligent conversation?

I was dragged back to reality by Amy, who I was currently sitting next to in French. "Soo.. Any developments?"

I knew exactly what she was talking about. Guys. A guy, to be precise. A guy I did not want to think about right now.

"Developments of what?" I asked, playing dumb.

"Don't you play dumb with me Hane Louise Farlow. What's happened?"

'That awkward moment when one of your best friends knows you a tad too well' my mind stated. Yeah. My mind kinda talks to me sometimes. No biggie.

"Selena and Cath told me that they actually did give him my number. Two weeks ago. And they thought he liked me too. But no. I've had nothing. He's even stopped talking to me" I spoke in one long breath, my voice a monotonous drone. Selena and Cath were two of my other best friends. Yeah, I have a few best friends. Don't judge. I talk to each of them about different things.

Selena - the big sister, go to advice about fashion, clothes, or a good motivational kick up the arse.

Cathy - the one I've known since she was born, she's like the sister that knows me too well.

Amy - the listener. And the one who shares the same views as me. We vent to each other a lot.

I was drawn out of my description of my best friends by Amy swearing that she would kill Graeme (this guy) and that I was too good for him anyway, and that at the concert Niall would see me and it would be love at first sight and that Graeme would regret his choice then. 'Pfft' said a small voice in my mind. 'You're you. Hane. Nothing special. A weirdo. If you can't even get a guy to text you, you've got no chance later in in life. You might as well just start buying in cats now'.

Lol, I have such a normal, average life.

-At the end of the day-

I traced the graceful, flowing patterns inked onto my hands, walking in time to the music blaring out my headphones. I was walking home after another day at school.

"... maybe it's time for change, leave it all behind.." Maybe by Sick Puppies. One of my all time favourite songs. As I wandered up the steep hill, I felt a spot of rain on my hand. And then another. And another. And another.

Soon I was dripping in watery ink, the words and thoughts and emotions I had scrawled all over them running away from me.

They despised me.

The song continued into my head, "...why does it feel so wrong, to reach for something more? To want to live a better life, what am I waiting for?..."

I don't know. But it sure as hell better be worth it.