Warning: scenes of rape are included in this chapter.
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Then.
My mom once told me that you've gotta fall before you fly. I could swear that she got it from a song. After she died, I thought that, that was the fall and soon after something great would happen. Turns out, her dying was only part of the fall, by the looks of it I've still got a long way to go.
Hannah looked at me and smiled. "What?" I ask. She shrugs. "You're a great friend." She says. "Uh, thanks? Where's this come from?" I ask. She shrugs. "I just have no other real friends. You're the one who's stayed." "What about Clay?" I ask. "El, I can't talk to Clay like I talk to you. Do you really think he's interested in gossip?" She says, laughing. "I don't know, I thought he was gay?" I say to her. She laughs. "God no, he's not... I don't think." She says. I laugh. "So... you and Zach?" She asks. "What about me and Zach?" I ask. "You're cute together." She says. "Yeh, because we're best friends." I say. "So?" She says. I raise my brows. "What're you trying to say?" I ask. "You'd make a good couple." She says. I roll my eyes. "Like I haven't heard that before." I say. "Oh come on you totally like him, I can see it in your face, and the way he looks at you is like something out of a movie- it's rare." She says. A blush rises to my cheeks. "Cliché...So you've seen him looking at me?" I ask. "So you do like him? And yes, in class, if he doesn't sit next to you, he's always checking on you." She says. I sigh, "yeh because he's like my brother." "No, no, no. It's more than that. I can tell" she says. "Rightttttt" I say, sarcastically. She rolls her eyes. "He'll ask you out someday, I bet he will." She says.
Now
Zach is coming over in 5 minutes and I look like a drug dealer, literally. My hair is in some sort of bun, but it's not cute, I look like I've just woken up from the dead. I tie my hair up again, trying to look acceptable. Just as I throw on one of Zach's sweaters that he left here, I hear someone walk into the house. Must be Zach. I walk downstairs and see Zach walking in. "Hey, you wanna come upstairs?" I ask. "Yeh" he says. We walk up to my room and I sit on the bed and he sits on my desk chair. "So, the other day...." Zach begins. "Did you mean it? What you said to me?" I ask. "Yes" he says. I look at him, shocked. "Did you?" He asks. I nod. "So, now what?" I ask. "Well, do you wanna give it a go?" He says. I smile a little. "Sure." I say,"but you gotta ask me first." He rolls his eyes,"fuck sake Ella." I grin. "Fine, Ella, will you be my girlfriend." My smile gets bigger,"yeh" He walks up to me and kisses me once again. Hannah was right when she said he'd ask me out someday. To bad she isn't here. "I've had feelings for you for years, you know?" He says. "Why didn't you tell me sooner, Zach? We could've done something about all of this. I've felt the same way since 7th Grade!" I exclaim. "I was scared." He admits. I smile. "You're so cute." I say. "Oh shut up" he says, laughing. "Zach... you were on the tapes, right?" I ask. He nods. "So when they came to my door that day, why didn't you tell me?" I ask. "I wasn't aloud too." He says. "Who said that?" I ask. "Well, Hannah, and technically did." He says. I nod. "Do you think Clay will like, go crazy?" I ask. "What do you mean?" He asks. "He seems a little, lost? Like he doesn't know what to do." I say. "I don't even know." He says. "What if he tells someone? Like his parents." I say,"we'll all be screwed then." "True. We'll make sure he doesn't." Zach says. I nod. ••• I wake up to see Ethan staring at me. "Uh, what the fuck are you doing?" I ask. "Get up." He says. "What?" I ask. "You're late." He says. I look at the time. "Oh shitballs" I say. "Get out then! Make me some cereal please!" I shout. "On it!" He shouts back, heading downstairs. I quickly throw something on, and head into the bathroom. I quickly do some makeup, covering the bags up on my eyes. I brush my teeth and then do my hair. When I head downstairs Ethan has my cereal ready and I quickly scoff it down. "Thanks." I say with a mouthful of coca pops. I exit the house, quickly getting in my car and heading to school.
As I enter the school I see Montgomery. "Wake up late?" He asks. I nod,"you?" "Yeh." We have first period together, so I walked to class with him. "So, Zach told me that you and him are official." He says. "Yeh, when did he tell you that?" I ask. "Last night." He says. I nod. We walk into class and I sit next to Zach. "Hey." I whisper. "How come you were with Montgomery?" He asks. "I was late and I saw him walking to class so I joined him." I say. He nods. "You okay?" He asks. "Sure" I say. "Wanna go to the park after school?" He asks. I nod. "Why though?" I ask. He shrugs. "Why not?" He says, smirking. I roll my eyes. "You goon." I say. "You love me really." He says. "Mmmmm" --- After school me and Zach walked to the park. I soon came to realisation that this was the park where Hannah got her first kiss. "Why this park?" I ask sadly. Zach looks at me confused then after a while he finally gets it. "Sorry" he says simply. I just nod. I sit on the swing and Zach joins me on the swing next to me. "So, there must be a reason why you brought me here." I say. "There's really not, I just wanted to get out of my house" he says. "Why?" I ask. "I don't know, my mom is always asking if I'm okay and bothering me. I barley even knew Hannah and she's making it seem like I did." He says.
"Mmmm, glad my dads not like that, but Hannah was my best friend so even if he was like that, I'd understand. Ethan's a lot more 'involved' with me now. I think he's scared I'll do something stupid." I say. "You won't though, right?" He asks seriously. I look at him and roll my eyes. "No, I promise. I'm strong" I say, flexing my muscles, well trying. He laughs. "You're so weird." He says. "Says you!" I exclaim.
We spend a while at the park, just messing about and for a while I forgot that my best friend had just died, and I forgot that my dad doesn't want anything to do with me and I forgot that I lost my mom. It felt great just to have no problems for a while. Zach's phone then pings. "Shit, I better get home." He says. "Okay, see you tomorrow?" I say. He nods and kisses me. "Do you want me to walk you home?" He asks. I shake my head. "I'll be okay, Zach" I smile. "If you're sure." He says. "I love you." I say. "I love you too." He says.
On my way home I feel someone walk next to me. "Oh, Bryce.... hi?" I say as he walks next to me. "Hello" he says. "Um, what're you doing around here?" I ask. "Looking for you." He says. "Why exactly?" I ask. I then feel him shove me into the woods that were next to us. "What the hell are you doing, Bryce?" I shout. He grips me on the floor and he un-clips his belt. This isn't gonna happen. Hannah was right, she was always right. And now it's happening to me. He slams me against the floor and I struggle under his grip. I scream repeatedly, but his hand wraps around my mouth. That's when I stop. It felt like forever. But it was over. "Don't you dare tell anyone about this, or else!" He spits into my face. I let out a cry. "You asshole!" I cry. He walks off and I just lay there, emotionless. I crawl up to a tree and sit with my back against it. I pull out my phone and see I've got a couple missed calls from Ethan. Me I'm on my way back now.
