Forever in my Heart

Dear Diary,

Today is a new day; I start junior year, but frankly I think of it as starting a new life. I've lived in LA for 3 months now. I'm not quite used to calling it 'home' yet, but I'll get over it. I always do. I'm strangely not nervous for school, the feeling kinda went away after the third move.

"Haley, come on! We're gonna be late!" I hear my best friend, Ryleigh, pounding on my door. Her parents left her when she was little, so my parents adopted her.

"I'm coming!" I yell, closing my Journal. I run to the mirror and put on last minute makeup and jewelry. I straighten my long hair, and slip jean shorts with a blue laced top.

"Okay, that's it-" Ryleigh says, barging in. "Wow, you look so pretty, Haley. Are you ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be!" I say, putting on a fake smile. I hope she doesn't notice, but I know she does. She's nice enough to not say anything. She's wearing long skinny jeans with a hot pink tight top; she was always one to love cleavage. Her long curly hair bounces against her back as she walks down the winding staircase. I smell toast and bacon cooking, and hear a soft hum coming from my mom.

"Morning girls! Hurry up and eat, you have 10 minutes." My moms says, with a smile. "You both look beautiful."

We both scarf down our food in silence.

"Hey so uh, I kinda gotta tell you something." Ryleigh says, avoiding eye contact with me.

"What is it?" I say.

"You have to promise not to freak out, okay? I don't want anything to stop us from having a good year." I nod, and raise one eyebrow. "Okay so, I think Cameron and Nash will be going to our school." She says.

My heart immediately drops down into my stomach. I had a thing with Cameron about a year ago, it ended terribly. You know how I said I wasn't nervous earlier? That is suddenly gone.

"How do you know?" I ask.

"Cameron's brother, Daniel, relapsed. I only know because my email is still connected to his caring bridge updates." This makes my heart melt even more. I was really close to Daniel. He had cancer, and I helped Cameron take care of him. When Daniel almost died, I couldn't take it, so I ran. Cameron never answered back my calls, texts, nothing. I guess I deserved it. Now, thinking back on everything, I understand why.

"You okay honey?" My mom says, softly rubbing my shoulder. "I think if you see Cameron it would be decent to apologize. But don't let it ruin your day. Have fun."

I shove away any negativity I have, and try to erase any thoughts of Cameron from my mind. That's always easier than confrontation.

Ryleigh and I walk outside and hop in her grey convertible.

"Can you put the hood up, please?" I say. The worst thing on the first day of school is bad hair.

She rolls up the hood without replying, and turns the radio on. We are silent all the way to school, but it's not awkward. It takes about 15 minutes to get there and when we arrive I see a huge building, almost like a college. There's people everywhere. This makes me happy, maybe I won't have to see Cameron.

"You ready?" Ryleigh says, taking a deep breath. I smile and nod.

We both get out of the car, and begin to walk to school, side by side. I get a few stares, but not as many as usual. I like it that way, being invisible.

We walk through the double doors and make our way to the guidance office, where we will get our schedules.

"Welcome! How may I help you?" A lady about 30 greets us, smiling. Ryleigh explains that we're new and need our schedules. She's always the one to talk when we're together. The woman walks away for about 5 minutes and comes back with two yellow folders. She hands them to us and says, "Here you go. I need you to fill out the top form sometime today, bring it back when school ends. The second sheet is your schedule. If you get lost, find someone with a name tag on and they'll help you." She smiles, and returns to her work.

We walk back out into the hallway and pull out a pink sheet with classes listed. Luckily, we have first period together, but that's the only one. She's in mostly AP classes, I'm in honors. We begin to make our way through the halls, looking for room 231. We have to walk up the stairs as I am pushed and shoved by different people into different places. Luckily, the room is right outside the staircase, and when we walk in it already almost full.

A man walks up to us and says, "Good morning, I'm Mr. Brown. Take a seat and we'll get started."

We find seats diagonal from each other, and I can feel the stares. I try to shove them off.

Once first period ends I walk to second, it's only a few doors down. The room is smaller than the last one, and there's less people. I find a seat near the middle right.

"Hey there!" I hear someone say, not realizing that they're talking to me at first. I look up to see a tall boy, beginning to sit down in the seat next to me. I'm surprised at how cute he is. I smile and start to play with my hair, I'm not really the best when it comes to boys.

"So you're new I'm guessing? I think I would remember someone as pretty as you." He says smiling, and I feel my cheeks get hot.

"Yeah, my name's Haley. I just moved here from Georgia." I say.

He smiles and replies, "I'm Nathan. It's nice to meet you, Haley." He turns around as the teacher begins to speak. I can feel butterflies in my stomach, something I've not felt since Cameron.

When class ends I stand up and as I'm making my way out I hear Nathan say, "See you to tomorrow Haley!" I turn around, smile, and make my way to the next class.

Third period ends quickly, and I strangely enjoy the rest of my classes. As I'm walking to find Ryleigh and return the form, I turn a corner and crash into something I can't quite make out. All the papers fall to the floor, and my brain flusters with embarrassing; hoping that no one sees. I fall to the floor to pick up everything, and hands bump into mine, trying to help.

"Sorry about that." Someone says. My brain recognized the voice. I look up and see something that makes my whole body feel swollen.

Cameron.