If I Go, You Go?

Chapter 1

I was on my phone and realized that Olly had texted me. Again? He was asking if I was okay, again. Just because I'm a suicidal teenager, doesn't he think that perhaps death isn't always on my mind, just most of the time. I turn my phone on and go to the message where I read,

"Hey Amber, just wanted to see if you are okay. I know you've been having a hard time at home and at school all week. If you need to talk then I'm always here for you - Olly x"

He was sweet and I do admit that I might have a crush on him, but I wasn't going to get too attached because I knew what was coming for me. It wasn't my fault that I wanted to kill myself, more like my family's fault. They were constantly telling me that I needed to lose weight or if I ever told them that I was feeling depressed they would just phone up my therapist. After a while of them treating me like this I came to the conclusion, they don't care about me. They just want me to be the perfect daughter and are trying to scare me into being it. After about 5 minutes of me staring at the walls, thinking about how my family were treating me, I replied briefly to Olly's text.

"Hi, yeah I'm doing alright and thanks for offering :) - Amber x"

I was trying to distance myself from Olly but every time he texted me I couldn't resist putting an x on the end. After every text I sent like that I reminded myself that if he did get too attached with me then he'd just end up heart broke after I killed myself. I needed to do it, fast. 

Everyday was just the same as the rest: get up, get dressed, clean my teeth, get a wash, brush my hair, have breakfast and go to school. Whenever it was a weekend I'd just do the same but apart from go to school, I'd stay in my bedroom all day, avoiding everyone. I'd had enough of this life. Suddenly this urge took control of me and I opened Google in my phone and typed 'Suicide Partner Needed'. I came across lots of people but no one seemed serious, joking about their life. Then, eventually, I came across this one boy. He was 17, just one year older than me, and lived only 10 minutes away from me. I thought that I was dreaming at first then I saw a text pop up on the IM from him. Did he want me to die with him, or was this just a joke?