Leaving

I'm lying here. Facing away from the wall. I don't want to see the empty space where you're usually asleep. A shiver goes down my bare spine. It's cold without you near me, giving me warmth. I am a fully grown, independant woman. Yet I am crying to myself in my panties, beacouse you went mad at me and left.

I went up, away from the bed. I didn't care. It was cold anyways. I found my bra, picked it up from the floor and put it on. Your favourite bra. You always said it refined my curves, and that the red complimented my eyes. I missed you.

Ugh. I went to the kitchen and lit a cigarett. I coughed. Obviosly. The smoke rose from the stick that was slowly draining my life. But, since nobody seemed to care about me, why should I?

I went to the top shelf in the cupboard in the living room, and got myself three bottles of whiskey, two big red wine bottles, and five of my homemade "Liquid courage", wich was just all of my most intense drinks in a bottle. Then I got my pills. Antidepressant pills, pills to make me eat, pills to make me sleep, I had pills for everything. Everything exept heartbreake.

I swollowed my pride together with my pills, and washed it down with the alcohol. Soon all the bottles were empty. I started feeling ligtheaded so I went back to bed. A throbbing headache decided to hit me so I tried to sleep.

Then, I got a feeling, like someone was behind me. It creeped me out, so I turned around. And there you were. Lying there, as beautiful as ever. I emidiately pulled you against me and kissed you. But, there was something wrong. The bed. I quickly pulled in my hand under you, and I was rigth. The bed should be warm if you were there.

If you were there.

Realizing that you weren't here broke something in me. Something snapped. And I broke down crying on your chest. I pushed myself up, and wiped my eyes. But when I was supposed to lay down on your bare chest and we would talk it out and live happily ever after, I instead hit the cold reality when I fell down onto the pillows. I kept crying and used my last power to turn around. You stood there, at the end of the bed. Looking at me with a sad and dissapointed smile.

And then, everything was black.

2/6-17

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(OBSERVE! THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. THE PEOPLE AND EVENTS ARE MADE UP.)