Ted Cruz x Mr. Spiderus

In the home

(Author's note: OH MY FUCKING GOD THE HEADER PICTURE)
Tucked away in Ted's pocket, Mr. Spiderus thought about how much he loved him. He gripped the fabric of Ted's pocket, thinking of things he could do to show his affection.

I could pretend to bite him. Thought Spiderus. No wait. I could spin him a web.

Ted walked into his home, greeting his wife.

"Why were you out so late," She asked him, narrowing her eyes.

Ted gulped. "Er...late night campaigning, dear. They asked me to stay a little while to talk about what I'll do for the country. You know," he nudged her shoulder slightly. "Presidential stuff."

She examined him, staring into his eyes. Then she gave in.

"Alright, hun. The kids are asleep, and I'm about to join them. Good night, dear."

She kissed him on the cheek.

"Good night," Ted mumbled quietly in her ear.

Ted waited for her to walk away. Then he pulled Spiderus out of his suit pocket. Spiderus was smiling.

"You have a wife. As do I," Spiderus slyly said.

"Hope that's not going to be a problem," he whispered.

Spiderus over to a couch in the living room. "Why don't we take this over to that couch, wouldn't you say?"

"Sounds good," replied Ted.

~-~

After having conversations about their life and flirting, things began to get serious.

"How do spiders have sex?" Ted put Spiderus on his chest, getting extra comfortable.

"Not very complicated. Males get on top of females and go to town. How about you, Ted?"

Ted chuckled. "Same as you, I guess. Say, Spiderus," he stopped.

"Yes, Ted?"

Ted reached for his belt. "Why don't we go to town?"

(Author: Oh my god help me)

Spiderus burned. Is that even right in the laws of nature? Spiderus thought. How would this even work? He crawled to Ted's face.

He gave him a small kiss on his bottom lip.

"Let's do it," Spiderus stated with enthusiasm.