One time, I was making a sandwich. It wasn't anything complicated, just a simple turkey sandwich. That's all I wanted. But no. The universe had more in store for me.
I opened the mayonnaise. You see, this mayonnaise was kind of old and completely unopened, so I guess it had built up pressure inside of it or something for some reason?? But anyway, I opened the mayonnaise and it just kinda blew up. Like it just exploded all over my clothes, hair, shoes, all of that fun stuff. I sighed in disappointment.
Of course, this would happen while doing the simplest task in the world. I went to the bathroom to clean up, and when I came back I realized something dripping onto the floor from the ceiling.
"What the actual hell?" I said monotone.
I looked up and there was mayonnaise on the ceiling. On the fucking ceiling. Keep in mind, the distance from my counter to my ceiling is about 8 feet.
"How in the actual fuck" I thought.
Anyway I couldn't clean it because I'm 5"2 and had no motivation to do so.Today, 3 whole years later, the stain from that mayonnaise still remains.
