Three Hot Boys Are A Crowd

Ch.20 -"Everything I Do Is Bittersweet"-

A/N: Hey, guys! Long time no see. I'd like to thank P!ATD for helping this chapter come together. Also, I need questions or those character interviews. Another question is: How would you feel if I did a chapter with Tyler and Demetrius switching Points of View? Don't forget to comment, vote, and follow! 

March 22nd, 2018

GUESS WHAT! GUESS WHAT! GUESS WHAT! I GOT MY COLLEGE LETTERS IN TODAY. IM SO FREAKING EXCITED. DIARY! AHHHHH! I'LL GO OPEN SOME! I'LL BE BACK IN A JIFFY.

3:00pm

After sitting down with my mom and Finn, holding their hands for moral support, as we opened our letters at the same time I found out that I didn't get in. It was kind of this sureal moment where you're nervous but excited at the same time then you read the actual words that say "I'M SORRY TO INFORM YOU..." and you realized you've been waiting so long just to get into to your dream school but you didn't get in. All these year that I've been waiting this one moment, my hard work down the drain, and noticing that I'm a failure. My dream was dead and I didn't know how I felt about it. Finn was beside me and for a split second I saw him rejoicing about getting in. Everything was in slow motion. Mom hugged him and told him she was so proud, kissing him on the forehead, then turning to me expectantly. Immediately she knew something was wrong by the sulken look in my face like I had turned 20 years older. It didn't take me long before she started to comfort me that I cried. Finn had gotten in and I hadn't; even though he deserved it I knew it wasn't fair. I couldn't help but be jealous of him. He didn't prepared as much as I had, he hadn't even heard of the school until I brought it up, and yet he got in. I love him to death but I just wanted to gauge out his eyes and die slowly on the floor. I felt so lost in the moment, sobbing, while Mom and Finn grabbed and shooshed me saying things like "its okay" and "you'll be alright". I knew I wouldn't be. I had other letters to go through but my first choice was stolen from me and I knew I hadn't wanted to go with anything but there. Dying would've been my best option but now that I think about it that option was stupid. After about an hour, I calmed down and opened the other letter to see if I got in. I did. For everything but my dream school. Finn called Jared and he got in. I'm sure if Hunter applied he would've gotten in too. Life was unfair because I was one point away from being able to live and study with my friends at the same school. One point. That point decided my whole future and I hadn't earned it. Today was chrushing me into a million pieces. And I don't even want to look at this thing right now but I just wanted write my feelings down.

March 23rd, 2018

All day today the seniors were talking about the colleges they got into and that made me even more upset. These people around me were getting in, all deserving of course, but the jealousy was still there. I hadn't told any one but Finn and Jared about my denial so when people asked I said I got in. That's all that needed to be said. The world around me was tearing down. Demetrius didn't seem to mind the chaos going around him since he wasn't going to college. He still had that "travel the world" idea stuck in his thick skull. Maybe he'd hop on the band wagon with the rest of it next year. I'm sure Mr.Alex and Mr.Danny would force him to. At our internship Momo took pity on my sad face and didn't ask quesions. I guess it was that body language thing she had been studying. Athena said she didn't get into any American schools but got into one in England. Momo had gotten into everything she wanted, obviously, and didn't know which one to choose. Apparently, Ace had heard our college talk and joined in. I felt like dying because as soon as he looked at me I wanted to break down and cry. They all just seemed so expectant of me to succeed. And I failed at that. HE had even offered to bring me over to his place to talk about it but I just wanted to go home.

1:00 am (technically March 24th)

I decided against myself and i went with Ace. It felt really good to be away from home and in his arms. It almost made me think about everything that happened a week or two ago. I ended up crying like a little bitch in front of him for an hour before he put on a movie and rocked me to sleep. I don''t think I've ever cried myself to sleep before. I guess there's a first time for everything.

March 24th, 2018

Ok so Ace is being really nice to me. Getting me blankets, tea, food (god yes), and plenty of kisses. I feel bad because just about everytime I come over here I"m ew and begging. I'm glad that I have him. I fucking suck at being a boyfriend. I'll just talk to him about life and shit so I can focus less on myself.

12:43pm

Ace started talking about work, school, other mundane things. Then he started talking about spring break and Oliver. I had almost forgot Mom, Finn, Charlie, Dad, and I are supposed to be vacationing with the Hendersons (traditions, traditions) and Spring Break started on Monday. He planned on spending the week with Oliver to get to know him better since they both didn't have school so it was a win-win for them. I didn't actually mind and I didn't want to focus on my feelings any longer than I had before so I asked more about Oliver.
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"Are you sure you wanna talk about him? I know you don't really like the whole polygamy thing?" Ace looked a little cautious about the subject. He always was and he didn't mention it unless I said anything. It was one of those rare ocassions. 

I nodded, sipping my tea. "I'm sure. Anything to take my mind off....yeah. So tell me about Oliver." I really was interested in knowing about this guy. 

"Well!" Ace sighed. He looked like a girl about to spill their guts about their crush. Absolutely adorable. "Oliver is really nice. He's at least 6 feet tall so because my short stature he has to bend down if he wants to kiss me. He has this nice curly brown hair and these intense green eyes that I like to stare at when he's not looking. He likes to baking pastries, sports, working on classic cars, and romantic comedies. I think he's a good balance of things. He's a sarcastic asshole but really sweet and nice once you get to know him. He's also a big nerd, wearing his glasses only when he's inside, to play video games or read comic books. Oliver is actually quite adorable for a tall and muscular man."

Now I had something to compete with that is if I can actually get past the fact that I had cheated on him with Demetrius. That very boy who I was going to be spending a whole week with. I smiled. "Well I'm glad you like him."

"I want you to meet him. I think you two might enjoy each other's company."

I froze.

-

Now I know I was the one to tell Ace that I wanted to meet Oliver face to face at some point but I didn't want it to be so soon. After learning that information I got sort of jealous because he was making Ace happy while I complained to him about my life. I was being a little whiny 18 year old boy. It was time to grow a pair and stop the crying. While I do accept men crying and showing a vulnerable side I had done it too much. I wanted to satisfy him. Almost like a reward for keeping up with my bullshit. So we did the sex. It was hard to segway into that but once we started to make out the deal was sealed. Once we were finished I think it was like a big relief that swept over me. Ace had seen me in my best and my worst. Naked and Fully Clothed. Ace was gonna be there for me no matter what. I couldn't let Demetrius take that happiness away from me. And one little failure shouldn't have broken my spirits that bad. If I was going to be a cliched young, starving artist I would have to deal with rejection. And lots of it. The lesson at the end of the day was basically if I wanted to get through life I would need to live in the now, guided by my own my past mistakes and my future choices. I'd have to deal with all my problems head first and not move around them. At some point I would have to be honest with Ace and I would hope for his forgiveness. No one could hold me back. I am Tyler NightLock goddammit! I can do anything I want! I'LL ACHIEVE! But for right now I'll just lie back in bed and soak it all in. If this made any sense. Like life.